My disordered personality.
 

Perhaps I should apologise. I'm apparently an attention seeking cow, stereotypically borderline and thoroughly disordered. But of course we knew that already!

The past few days have been rough and I need some outside input. Basically on Monday I was semi out of it and unable to move. I'd had a stressful week. Not fully passing out but close to it. Staff came into my room and I wanted to be left alone. A member of staff told me that by not responding I was wanting attention from them (bare in mind I was in my bed and not in a public space). I was with it enough to reply to them. They said they wanted me to sit up which I couldn't do (I hadn't taken anything, was just dissociated). They got pissed off at me and left.

I spoke to the same member of staff the following day and she compared with me a child who had had a hissy fit over talking to their parents, me as the child. She said I was attention seeking by appearing to be down. She said I don't express my anger which isn't true I rant all the time, just not to her. She told me to 'cut the bullshit' whatever that means.

She's incredibly critical of me. Literally every word that comes out of my mouth is wrong. If I'm positive she says I'm not being honest about how I feel and if I'm negative she says I'm being BPD pessimistic. I've made a effort with her regardless but I cannot handle her anymore.

Do you agree with her? Am I just a typical BPD girl that should be written off as a hopeless case?

I know my mood says laughing but it's from before I cant seem to change it. I'm actually crying lots.

What do you think

If someone else did that or posted stuff in the way you do wat would you think

I think I post asking for help. I take it you disagree? I have complex issues and there is a lot of drama, I know that, but sadly it's all true. Please keep this a supportive thread.



Thank you Amy. No I don't think she understands dissociation. I talked to another member of staff about it, well cried about it, and he was very supportive and said he would talk to her and support a complaint if I wanted one. It seems she is the only member of staff that thinks that way, nobody else agrees. My friends and family disagree too.

I wasn't being judgemental I was trying to get you to answer Ur own question please do not turn my words around or interpret my words into something they are not

The thing with us borderlines me included we often misinterpret what people say to be an attack or hear wat we want to hear

Also I know sometimes in the past I have wanted ppl to save me and this isn't being an attention seeker in the bad sense but wanting attention to soothe us and we don't know how else to do this

You should research Dbt I feel this may help U

You need to chill out. When did I say you were being judgmental?

Thanks lovely xx

At the point where you said "you obviously disagree and please keep it a heplful thread"

I'm not angry im being assertive there is a difference

To be honest Katie I think both you and Cheryl have a point. A lot of what you post and the actions and behaviors you exhibit do come across as those of someone seeking affirmation and attention. You seem to crave being looked after and although you have been taking responsibility recently an doing fantastic work, historically this is not the case...or at least that is not how it has come across. It seems like you want to be taken care of and get angry at those who suggest you could maybe do more.

It was a question though? I can't go around making assumptions. I don't know what you're thinking, I'm not you, so I was asking to clarify.


Thanks for the reply. Yeah you made some fair comments.