Familiarity by staff
 

This is a wierd one!

I met an ex cpn today when I was out and he referred to me as 'babe', this is something I've noticed a lot over the years as a patient, though not recently obviously as I'm not being seen, but was wondering how others felt being called things like 'love', 'sweetheart' and 'babe'.

It feels very unprofessional to me, I don't like being spoken to like that by men I don't really know.

Just a random post really. It isn't a massive problem or anything like that, I just find it inappropriate and was wondering what others thought.

If any of my professionals did that to me I would find it very unprofessional and inappropriate. they all call me my name, or if discussing me with someone else will call me a young man or gentleman, or my name.

I don't know what you can do about it as you are not seeing them, but to me it is certainly unprofessional and inappropriate.

I've had this quite a lot over the years.
There was one nurse at a hospital that would always call me 'babe' and I felt weird about it, but he did it to everyone, it wasn't anything dodgy.
I've also had 'darling', 'love', 'trouble', 'hen' and similar.
It just goes over my head now, it's never been anything untoward and I just let it go over my head.

If it bothers you though, then tell someone.

As a student working with professionals/hoping to be one one day, here's my take on things -
We try to ask if the client/service user/patient would prefer to be called Mr. X/their name/things like darling etc.
The thinking behind terms like darling, chick etc is that it makes some people fel comfortable and less like the situation is clinical?

But a professional should try and ask.
And I detest the word babe when spoken. With a passion.

My understanding was it's a professional situation and best to check. I remember my therapist from years ago telling me they weren't allowed to say things like that ever as some people are extremely sensitive to be called such things due to their pasts.

I guess in a way that's my issue but I do also find it patronising and have never had such a thing happen with other medical professionals.

It always happened when I was a patient there, I would repeatedly ask them to stop then they would do it again, always saying others don't mind, though that was the same argument about me having to climb stairs to see them until I put in a formal complaint after I met another patient who said they were always seen downstairs (when I first went there I struggled a lot with climbing stairs and it is now impossible physically).

Thanks moth I hadn't looked at it in terms of that, though personally I think they should be more sensitive to a persons background and how some may find such things triggering, I did to begin with a lot, and speaking personally found it hard to trust those people, including therapists.

Thanks for replying to random post!

I understand it's how certain people greet each other, I just think professionals should keep things erm professional.

A couple of nurses in the mental ward i usually go to call me things like that but in danish. Its nurses i have known for the past five years and to me it just makes me feel as someone said, less clinical. Ive been in hospital up to a year at a time and sometimes these things kinda remove that edge between staff and patients. Just like some nurses come in and say goodnight, play games, watch tv and just chit chat in the common room with the patients. When you are in there long periods at a time and its sort of your home, i find it nice that you are sort of on the same level and treat each other as human beings rather than staff and patients.

I know other patients at the ward appreciate this as well. The popular nurses are the ones who treat us as equals, rather than patients. They are always there if you need them professionally but also if you just need a friend and someone to talk to about random, silly things, joke around etc.

I would find it odd if my psychiatrist did it but on the ward i dont because its people i see almost every day and has known for years and its their job to sort of make me feel welcome and home and comfortable. Being friendly and less clinical does that. And for long periods of time, that ward has been my main home so.. I guess for me it depends on what status they have and whether i see them often or not. If that makes sense.

Yes it makes sense, I guess it's just another difference between mental health wards and other wards. I've been on other wards for longer periods than I have mental health and I found the professionalism much better.

It's just an individual thing I guess!

I think it is unprofessional ti call some one babe.
I'm training to be a mh professional and we have a computer system which we use for writing notes on and when you click on a patients name it will give you their preferred name. For example David prefers to be called Dave. That, and their full name is all a professional should use.

It surprised me that staff get away with it. But i guess if no patients complain about it then no one will see a problem.

If it bothers you you are well within your rights to make a formal complaint.

I would agree with ballerina123 to a certain extent but I also think it's very much depends on the relationship you have with the member of staff I would be uncomfortable if. It was used by a member of staff I did not know well and certainly babe from a male member of staff I think is inappropriate. One of the people working with me now who I know well calls me hon or honey sometimes but because we get on I don't mind . I think it can also work both ways my full name is Jessica but I hate it being used as I feel like I'm in trouble so that almost feels worse than any nickname. I think it's highly individual really.

Same! And I'm the same with hun. *shivers at the thought* I used to be completely intolerant to all terms of endearment, but now there's only a few that bug me.

If it makes you uncomfortable, I would just keep asking them not to!

I don't think it's acceptable. Especially 'babe' because of the erm.. connotations that it has. Sometimes some terms of endearment would be okay, I think, depending on the person and the relationship that they have with the member of staff, but ideally they should be asked first. If you have made it clear you're not comfortable with it then there is no way that they should carry on.

A lot of people I work with will use 'pal' and 'dear' CONSTANTLY with our residents and some of them do not respond well at all. I don't blame them, it would irritate the crap out of me, and I really feel that the member of staff then has a responsibility to remember not to use terms like that with that particular person.