So...
 

Basically I was sexually abused for years and as such have a fear of being alone with males (although obv have nothing against males in general just at this moment can't cope) and my new (as in 2 days new) supported accomodation promised that if male staff were on there would be another (female) staff member on at all times. Well already more than once has that not happened and it will only be one male staff member on tonight and I'm already freaking out. I need to get over this male thing but I just don't know quite how. Any suggestions?

Sorry just majorly stressed about tonight (stress levels up with moving anyway).

Hey lovely!

Is there anyone you can bring this up with?

Also sending you hugs and ****.

Hi Katy. I really think it's worth talking to them about this, because a promise is a promise, and I doubt you're the only one struggling with this.

Do you think it would help if you were around him when other people were around too? That way, you could get to know him before being alone with him.

Thanks both of you, you're both stars. Already brought it up twice and again the promise was made, didn't think they'd break it a 3rd time 0.o. Don't quite know where to go from here.

Good idea Sophia may try that if can get over anxiety enough to leave flat. Am currently a tad paralysed by fear.

Is there anyone higher you can poke about it? (I don't know anything about this stuff)

Not in short term no, just whenever they decide to turn up tomorrow.

They better than you can bring hell upon them!

Yeah, I have no idea what i'm talking about but if you need me you know where to find me, yes?

Yes I do and really really appreciate it. Just am in a bit of a depressed/anxious basically emo **** state. Don't think inflicting myself on anybody right now is fair.

It's not inflicting if they offer!

You don't want a flailing desperate emo **** on your case, seriously. Also my internet might cut out any minute btw so don't panic ;-p

I wouldn't say no to talking to a wonderful lady! :P

Well you'll need to find one then.

LOL.

Seriously am worried might slip up and then the staff will be mad at me. I'm supposed to miraculously fix myself in two days.

No one can just "fix" themselves and it's unreasonable to think you can!

Feels like it. Am falling apart and can't go over. Last time someone came over they were just like 'take your meds and have you had anything to drink' for a start I am alcohol physically fricking dependant and have only had enough to stop the shakes and b does that negate my need for emotional support? I am so close to cutting myself to shreds but a) that doesn't matter because no one gives a **** and b) because I have had 1 drink this evening to stop the shakes and been sober all ****ing day bar 1 in the morning which was fricking hard, I don't deserve support so yeah...go figure.

I hate myself.

I'm so sorry, lovely! I wish I was sober enough myself to have some kind of amazing advice but I don't :/

Please don't hate yourself though, we don't hate you.

I don't really have any suggestions for how to be ok around men, but I think that you should talk to them about the promise they made, and keep talking to them about it until they do what they said they would. It's not fair to you or others who might have the same problem.

I agree with Mike. You are wonderful, and you shouldn't hate yourself. I think that the fact that you were able to limit yourself to one drink in the morning and one drink in the evening is a really good accomplishment, considering you said that you're alcohol dependent.

Please don't SH. You're worth more than that, and I care! You do deserve support. Could you try to talk to them more about how they seem to be writing off how you feel?

*sending bunches of hugs*