Is it bad...?
 

Is it bad that I wish I could have a baby now? I definitely don't wanna have one now, but is wishing I could bad? Like I don't plan to until I AT LEAST graduate high school, but I keep imagining it and wishing I was ready to have one.

I've been paranoid about this for months now and only just worked up the nerve to ask if this kind of thinking is bad. I'm just really, really paranoid. ;-;

I probably sound stupid, don't I?

Blah, maybe I should just shut up now. :crying:

I think it is pretty normal to feel that way, a lot of people do.

Right now I couldn't afford to have a baby, I am still at uni, have barely enough money to pay my bills and am not exactly emotionally stable. I know that, and I don't think having a baby right now would do me or the baby any good. But when I took a pregnancy test a few weeks ago it made me really sad that it was negative, and that was hard to deal with. I need to keep reminding myself that this is just not the right time.

I think it is very good that you have the insight to say that it's not the time for you to have a kid. It can be hard, but in the long run it pays off to stay rational and plan ahead.

Thank you. :sohappy: I feel a little better now.

I have wanted a baby ever since I was about 14 or 15. I am 26 now.
I know I am not in the right place ATM and there is so much more I want to do like travel.

I actually tried for a baby when I was 24 but it didn't happen. I also took a test a few months back and was upset it was negative but now I have actual plans to travel and leave for Europe next month I am ok with not being pregnant as long as it happens some day but I still long for one.

I started wanting a baby when I was 14. Then I went the complete opposite and didn't want kids til last year. Now I want nothing more.

I think it's perfectly normal :)

x x x

I think it's pretty normal, as the others have said.

My thoughts are that it is a lovely thought to have something that you can love so much, that will love you back, and that won't leave (at least not for many years!). Something safe to pour your emotions and energy into.

:)

I have urges to carry a child. I am almost 100% sure I do not want a genetic child,and wouldn't want to give birth, but I still have thoughts and feelings about being pregnant and the positive feelings associated with it.
I think it's natural. After all, if we all didn't have urges to procreate we'd be a pretty **** species.

I personally don't think that's a bad thing to wish or have desires for a baby. In fact, I think it's pretty normal to want to have a baby or kids, especially when someone hits mid 20's and when they start getting scared of the 30's. At the end of the day, it's reality that sets people back, not the actual fact that you know, it's not a stork that's gonna give you a baby all willy nilly. It's perfectly normal to have desires to procreate, not just have sex recreationally, but also being responsible for a life that you have created with your own blood. It's normal for both males and females. Food for thought; I've been wanting to be a father since I was 16/18 ish. Growing up, I saw a lot of "couples" have kids at that age and I was jealous, mostly because I was lonely, I wanted to feel loved, I wanted to feel significant, I wanted to be like everyone else... So I always wanted to be a father. Now I wasn't gonna get someone pregnant just to fulfill that wish; plus I know it would be harder for me to get full custody, so it's not something that can be fixed like a desire for pleasure is. I'm 21 now and reality of the matter is that I'm not economically stable to start a family, much less even desirable... I mean I have certain type of marks on me due to a certain thing I used to do, so who would want to carry the child of a male that was "mentally unstable" at one point? Being a male that used to SH is very hard, especially when you're seen as someone with baggage because of it. Anyways, I don't mean to go much into that; the basic point is that the feeling of a child that's yours, that you have your blood and chromosomes in is a very enjoyable feeling... some even say it makes people turn their life around, or rethink what is personally important, the problem though is that sometimes the same stress can keep us in the situation that got us into this forum.

I don't want to seem like a jerk or anything, but have you considered getting a pet? I know it's definitely not the same thing but sometimes we as humans seek companion or meaning within our lives, which makes us "think" that by having a child, we mean something to someone or that we have someone that's gonna love us no matter what, or... well you know, that basis of love and attachment.

Just something to think about.

Thanks to everyone who has replied. c:

@Old: You have made really good points. Ones I actually have thought myself like the stress affecting one's recovery. I always think about that and end up being a little happy. Who wants a bat **** crazy mother? If I do haves kids, I would want to be stable for them. c:
I actually do have pets. Two cats and a turtle. Plus, my mother's dog. c:

I would like do pick up some of Olds's points and suggest that you look into why you want a baby so bad. Because there is something to it, that sometimes people wish for a baby to have company, someone that loves them, someone they can take care of etc. So the wish for a baby cannot stem for a need that you don't find fulfilled in your life that a baby would fill. If you manage to get down to those reasons you might find other ways to cover those needs and feel better about things.

I do know the reasons why I want a baby. I don't really feel all that loved and then, I always feel alone. I feel like if I have a baby that I'll feel loved and then I won't be alone cause I'll be taking care of him/her a lot.

I think you need to come with other ways to fulfill those needs.
I remember that you mentioned feeling very lonely before, have you tried anything to find some friends? I think you are in a Anime/Manga Club thingy and even the leader of that? How about people in your choir? Is there anyone you'd liked to be friends with?

I'm a single mother to a 6 year old and i hear a lot that people think that having a child will take away the not feeling loved and loneliness feelings. It wont take away that loneliness you feel, a child can not take that away. When that child is asleep in bed, you're alone, you can't go out, you're stuck by yourself unless people come and see you. Every night, you'll be faced with that loneliness.

Of course it's completely normal to want a baby, even from a young age, but at least you realise that right now is not the right time to have one x

I do have a few friends in Manga Club and Choir, but I still feel like utter ****. :/

I suppose you have a point about the loneliness, Charcoal.