Jealousy
 

I hope someone else here can relate to this because it is driving me nuts!

I have 2 friends at work (one is a recent joiner to the company) and we haven't really gone out all together much on a night out. I've already begun feeling jealous because they text each other and not me (silly I know), etc.

I started doing cocaine with one of the girls since May, but have kind of come to a conclusion that she is only interested in me when I want to go and do drugs.

Now they invited me out to a night out at the end of this month and I was initially prepared to go, but my drug friend wants to get some coke, which is gonna be £40 each straight up, then about £10-20 for bottles of alcohol before we leave the house, then obviously clubbing money. I thought this was okay.

But now I have to take my rabbit to the vet and it is going to cost me £65 before they do any medical intervention because he is losing weight.

I've text them both to say I don't think I will be able to afford to come and I know they will go out together and I will be sat at home all jealous when they post stuff on facebook and talk about how 'epic' it was etc.

Why do I feel so jealous of my friends? It's such a petty, illogical jealousy but it eats away at me anyway.

I know they are going to think I am just flaking but lately I haven't really wanted to go anywhere and I've become very paranoid and resentful lately because my friends are always lying to me and I don't know why!

I'm jealous of friends too. I guess it stems from wanting what they have.

Could you go out and not take the drugs and just drink a little less so you can have a cheap night out. I know it's not ideal but sometimes you just have to make the most of what you have.

I'm on benifits and live in london and sometimes take a bit of coke so I cant afford to go on expensive nights out but if I budget carefully I can have a good enough night on £30 (if I get a bit drunk before I leave the house).

This way you won't be left out.