So fed up!
 

I've been on my own trying to start my career for three months now and really struggling. It seems no matter how hard I work at this job (10 hours a day and usually sturday on salary) I just keep failing. I get more and more frustrated every day and running out of steam. I'm just tired. Anxiety is getting worse. Inytense attacks daily that are not resonding to medication. Urges to cut are returning even thought its been at least two years. I'm tryng to stick it out but I feel like I'll break down eventually.

It sounds like you're under a lot of pressure right now and I understand why you'd be worried about breaking down if you keep submitting yourself to these hours with such stress and anxiety attacks. Is there any way you can get a break? I'm not sure what you are doing in regards to your career but it sounds like you really need a break before things become too much for you, and you lose interest and also risk your healthy.

I'm sorry to hear how tough things are, keep talking with us x

Perhaps it would help to allow yourself a bit of a break for a short while to relax a bit and avoid burning out. The go back refreshed and maybe ask your supervisor/manager if you could have a performance review and mention you're interested in career progression and whether they can suggest anything that may help this happen? Training or shadowing etc.

x x x

I will take a look at how much time off I have earned. They do give you a fair amount of time off due to the stressful nature of the job. I do have a one week vacation scheduled for January but that is a long ways away. Once I get a system down for completing paperwork on time I will be better but for the time being I am very behind.