Behind the Smile
 

It's my life before cutting
And my life after cutting
I need to hide my cuts
I need to cut again and hide it all again
Worry today might be the day
Someone notices and tell my mom
Because my life will always be in the after cutting.

I cry,
Then I cut,
Then I cry again.
It never ends.
Sick of crying,
Tired of trying.
Yeah, I'm smiling, but behind I'm dying.
I'm a daughter hiding my depression.
A sister trying to make a good impression.
All in front of a smile.
In front of the smile says, "everything's alright"
Maybe sooner or later I'll believe it.
But for now when I'm alone the smile fades
Because nothing is alright behind the smile.

So often it feels like nobody cares.
Can't even look anyone in the eye
In fear that they'll find the truth behind the smile.
I'm so tired of this,
Sometimes I just want someone to know,
But then everyone will know.
What's behind the smile.

Chorus

I'm afraid that somebody will find out,
Afraid nobody will know.
I don't know if I'm getting better,
Or just used to the pain.
It's just another battle,
All within myself.
All behind the smile.

Chorus

The wounds will heal,
And pain subside.
And the hiding scars will fade.
But the memories,
Yeah those never will.
And the proof will always show
Behind the smile.

Chorus

To wear it on my body,
Tells what words cannot explain.
It anyone ever looking behind the smile?
Just trying to fight the battles,
Without falling apart.
Will you ever really know,
What's behind the smile?

Chorus

I cut the pain away,
But it never lasts.
It always comes back.
Will it ever stay away,
Behind the smile?
I'll always say, "I'm alright".
When will someone say, "Oh, no you're not"?
Behind the smile,
Lies nothing but battles.
Will anyone ever see,
Behind a broken smile?


Reviews wanted please! Especially the harsh! Thanks guys :)

I do like this. I think it's a shame that the first verse doesn't end with 'behind a smile' like the end of all the other verses.

I like how you've used a smile as a physical barrier and describing things not only behind it but in front of a smile too.

I hope that your smile barrier is soon broken to let someone in. It's important to let someone in to break down the circle of hiding behind a smile.

Sophie.x

Thanks I appreciate it! Might try and change it a bit so I can get the first verse to end with "Behind a smile." :)