starting to abuse laxatives
 

I have been thinking a lot about starting to abuse laxatives. I was thinking of abusing natural laxatives like prunes in different forms, like, juice, dried, and the fruit. I want to be self destructive in some form. I have tried cutting, hair pulling, punching trees, and throwing up my food and so far I have not found a method that I like.

I want to prove that I can if I put my mind to it. By using natural laxatives then the chance of me hurting myself for the long run is slim. Last night before bed I drank one glass of prune juice and the next morning it cleaned out my system.

I have read about people abusing over the counter laxatives but not natural laxatives. I am going to try it and if it does not seem to work then I will up grade to over the counter laxatives.

Abusing any form of laxative, whether its natural oe chemical will mess up your digestive system.
Is there anything other than feeling destructive that makes you want to do this? Do you have any help from a councillor or therapist?

Would you like to talk about why you feel the need to self distruct?

what exactly are you trying to prove? that you are really feeling bad? that you've got enough twisted self control to be able to torture yourself?... i think it is important to figure out what you're really after here... cause your motivation to hurt yourself even when you're not cutting, burning, etc is really concerning...

Are you getting any support from your doctor or a therapist or anything? It sounds like you're really struggling to manage feelings about something right now.

Laxatives, whether 'natural' or not, can be really damaging long term. Much more so if you are misusing them/don't require them. I understand you're using these things as coping mechanisms, but i think it's essential to be aware of the extent of what you could be doing to yourself.

Is there something about using laxatives to flush out your system, that gives you release because you feel empty? If so, maybe it's worth thinking about what you are really trying to rid yourself of. What is it that is so hard to face? Would you be able to talk to someone about this, rather than trying to avoid the feelings and self-destructing?

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