why
 

alone and trapped in life because I cant find a way to die. Alone because my friends dont understand and the professioanls hate me and apparently being suicidal and unable to move with a crushing weight of dread in your chest is 'attention-seeking'. I'm desperate. I tried to get support here but no-one replied. I am a failure, u lot can all get better and live your lives but im not good enough, thats why ive failed at everything, thats why they wont help me and sneer at me. I cant bear it anymore, i cant bear the hate and bullying when i try to get help, and i cant manage to keep living everyday as ive never been able to hold down a job or anything. I cant cope with what life requires. I just wish i could know why im not good enough

^ what the person above said is great, I totally agree with them. I have previously stopped self harming and also recovered from -probably depression, but undiagnosed- at the time I was very suicidal. However I managed to recover, without ANY support. No MH team, I had never seen a psych back then, no friends at all, family didn;t know about it, and I didn't know about this site or similar sites & hotlines etc that offer support. I think it is worth mentioning that I was 12 at the time.

Now, I know our situations are't the same, but I am sure you can do this. You can get through it. X You don't have to depend on other people or wait around for 'services' to help you, you could try your best to get better by yourself and with the help of friends and other people who you are close to, it IS possible.


I also understand what you mean by 'not being good enough', I can relate to that feeling. However it's not true. You don't have to be 'good enough'', you are perfect the way you are; if certain people have failed to help you when you needed it, it is THEIR problem not yours, it doesn't make you less worthy of receiving help. You are 'good enough', 'good enough' to live, 'good enough' to receive support, 'good enough' for anything you want. X

Thanks so much for your replies. I'm going to save this page and look at it when I feel really bad.
The one thing is I did try to recover without services but their was still pain inside I couldn't identify. But I am piecing it toegther slowly so maybe reading some stuff about trauma etc would help... I find psychology very interesting and reading stuff in a general sense helps me understand the concepts and have insights about myself.
Thank you once again xx