Love or codependence?
 

My ex and I have had an on again off again relationship for the past four and a bit years (more on than off, long distance, broke up, got back together etc etc) and I'm wondering if its because of how much we love each other (I've put him through a lot, and vice versa) or if its codependence that leads us back to each other. How do you tell? (Note: I've been dx w bipolar 2, 'emotionally unstable personality traits' and an anxiety disorder so I don't know to what extent this is impacting on it)

wow that is the life question isn't it. Is this love or just something else, we always ask ourselves that in a relationship but I can only give you the advice I got when asking myself the same, if you can imagine your life without them then it isn't love and if you can't then it most likely is. But to be honest I think it's more important to ask yourself right now does it matter if it is love or if it is co-dependence? Are you enjoying the relationship, are they?

Hi there.

I think everyone does ask themselves this in every relationship at some point or another.

I myself asked it about my previous relationship and I ended it and it turned out that it was in fact just co-dependence...because I didn't miss him when it was over; I just felt safe with him because we had a house and his family were close to us etc. Once it was over I felt a wave of relief.

It is only you at the end of the day who can answer the question because only you know the ins and outs of the relationship. Do you find yourself imagining life with someone else? Or see other people and feel more attracted to them than your partner? These are the things I found myself doing. When you've had a bad day or you're upset who is it you want to talk to about it?

I hope you work things out.

x x x

Thanks for listening guys:) the problem is that we aren't back together ATM technically but it feels like we are - talking on the phone/text, going for dinner etc etc