RYL Forums - My First Intense Poem

Hi, well, this is a poem I wrote about my friend who committed suicide. Unfortunately, unlike the poem, she didn't survive... :) I try my best to smile at times like this, I even screamed at a girl who asked me if I was okay... I felt so bad so I decided to post this, to let it out, because I can't hold it in any longer.

Fake smile,
Teary eyes
“Are you okay?”
”Yeah, I’m fine.”

Long sleeves
Scarred arms
“What is that?”
“It’s not self-harm.”

Growling stomach,
Empty plate
“Aren’t you hungry?”
“I already ate.”

Still not at school,
Laying in her bed
“Are you okay?”
“I wish I was dead.”

Therapist’s office
Feeling no better
“Any improvements?”
“My pillow is wetter.”

Broken vein
Dozens of meds
“Suicide note?!”
“I’m finally dead.”

Last goodbyes,
To her bedroom they race
“Where are you going?”
“To a better place.”

Arriving at death
At the gates she stays
“Why have you stopped?”
“I miss the old days.”

Her heart breaks
She remembers why
She swore to her life
She would never die

She misses her life
She misses her friends
She misses her family
With her til the end

But she cannot return,
Her time is up.
“Why are you crying?”
“I’m sorry I messed up.”

“I’m not meant to be here,
At least, not now.”
“I’m sorry to hear but
To send you back, we cannot allow.”

She dies again,
Emotionally this time
“Who’s fault is this?”
She hesitated, “Mine”

“That’s right, young one,
I hope you learned your lesson.”
“How can I do that?
My life is lessened.”

“I’m sorry, my dear,
There’s nothing I can do.”
“I love you, Mum”
“I love you too.”

She shakes violently
Like she’s being shoved
“Why did you leave?”
“I thought I was unloved.”

The clouds abate,
She’s still in her bed
“What did you dream?”
”I dreamed I was dead.”

A dream, no way,
It can’t be true
“What have you learned?”
”I missed all of you.”

She looks at the room
It’s definitely not hers
“Where are we?”
”In a hospital.” she slurs

So it was real
It wasn’t a dream
She really did die
This felt quite extreme

“Why am I here?
I was dead without a doubt.”
“We saved you, my dear
For we could not live without.”