I'm going to combust...**suicidal** *trigger**
 

I am really losing it. I have been in a bad place for an out 4 years. In 2009, I was almost strangled to death. In 2010, I was married, got pregnant ,had a miscarriage ,and my husband hAd me visit my parents, then took everything I owned and left me. We were in 2 different states. I didn't know where he was, or my belongings. I never got them back, and I have had the worst life since. This was my life savings. And all my furniture, electronics, clothes, jewelry .everything. Since then..I have lived on benches. In cars. In the woods . My mother hates me because I couldn't hold a marriage, and every so often, she invites me home, but when she's done with me, I'm begging for food and water sleeping behind bushes. My grandmother also died this year. She held the family together. Now I'm alone. I can't do this anymore. I don't want to. I haven't cut in years, but I'm hungry and thirsty, and so broke. I have no friends, no lover. I don't want to breathe anymore.it hurts to bad.