I did coke tonight :(
 

Yes.

I don't come to this forum often but tonight I spent money on coke because I had to be numb. I don't do it regularly. I haven't done it in months but my son hasn't spoken to me in 7 months because I told him I was gay. I've been hiding it from him for 6 years and I thought he should know the truth. I guess I was wrong.

Thing is, tomorrow, I will have to ask to borrow money from my family and I feel extremely guilty. I got through the night due to being numb but now I have to face the consequences.

I feel so much guilt right now. I don't use drugs but I have done coke before and I knew it would get me through the night. it has worn off now and I feel a horrible depression.

I don't know what I'm asking for. maybe I just needed to be honest with someone, and it was you guys..

Loves.
xxxxxx

I'm just scared you'll end up with an addiction, you know how addictive a personality you have, also scared you'll have a bad experience or end up with a bad batch and do real harm to yourself. Please be safe.

First up, I know nothing about you at all apart from this post. I'm not condoning drug use (I've had my troubles with various substances) but if this is a one off and its not going to happen again for a long time then don't beat yourself up about it. Again i'm not condoning it, but I know from experience that occasionally some people need to escape for a bit and for some it is not possible without 'drugs'.
Sounds like a difficult time with your son and that is a pretty exceptional circumstance. As long as you are not doing coke every time something minor happens and its not a constant crutch for you then like I said, don't dwell on it and do our best to make sure it don't happen again soon, if at all.
My mrs of five years finished with me this time last year, I went on an insane binge with my mate, who's mrs left him the same day, for about ten days straight. I spent a months wages in this time and had to sell loads of recording equipment cheap to keep up with all my payments and money I owed.
I'm not going to pretend I understand how you must feel with your son, but just hang in there. I hope things get better for you.
Take care

It must be so difficult for you right now. I have no experience in either doing drugs or being addicted to drugs, but I know it can be very addictive. The feeling can be addictive, even if the substance isn't.
Bite the bullet and face it. They'll be so much more understanding if you face up to it with strength.
Don't let blips like this get in the way of happiness.
Lots of love and stay strong.
Xx