Too much to handle
 

I haven't posted in a while but things have gotten really tough lately. Both my Grandparents are in the hospital for health reasons (though are going into rehab today). My grandpa's health is pretty poor. My health isn't the best either. I've been in the hospital 4 times this month alone. It finally got to be too much and I started cutting again. I told my mom the first time and she was upset with me and her reaction made me feel guilty. I'm not telling her I did it again. I'm thinking of calling my psychiatrist later today but just feel so drained. :crying:

I forgot to mention that I have to see a dermatologist today and I don't know if they are going to make me strip. If they do I don't know how they are going to react to the cuts :(

I don't know what to say, but I'm sorry you are going through such a difficult time. I hope you manage to phone your psych.

Hearing that my grandfather isn't going to get better was hard... Seeing them sick is just too much to handle. I have been dealing with constant illness myself and am just so tired from that. I fought the urge for over week but it was getting to the point that I wanted to break a bone so I had to do something... I talked to my psychiatrist and she just had me talk about what my plan was if I felt like cutting again.. I went to the dermatologist today who was really sweet and looked at the cuts and put steri strips on them. She asked me if I was seeing a therapist and just treated me with kindness which was nice. She even gave me stuff to make the cuts heal faster and nicer.