RYL can be so lonely sometimes
 

I dont have as severe problems as others do on here. I have emotions and loneleness and emptyness and sometimes I get really depressed.

This is my first actual thread on here. I didnt even post a thread in the introduction section a year ago when I joined. All my posts have been replies to other people. I tend to feel connected when I help others. I have 35 messages and 123 posts.

Most of the messages are from someone I did find on here when I first joined. She helped me immensely. I found her through Chat. Even chat can be very lonely sometimes. I got lucky to find someone like her.

I stopped going on RYL for a long time, and stopped talking to her also. But now coming back it still feels very lonely. I feel weird posting this thread though. I dont want to find people this way. I want it to happen naturally.

I have a beautiful girlfriend that I've been with for nearly 7 years. We connect extremely well on every single level. It dosnt seem enough though and that upsets me. I feel lonely and empty and this gets me depressed :(

Hello there,

I am sorry you are finding RYL quite lonely, there have been times when I have left that too, but other times when it has provided company and support when dealing with difficult times.

I think it is a common problem that people think they aren't as sick as others but try to remember that regardless of your problem if you are affected by it is important and you deserve support. One of the ways that I have built up more of a connection with people on here is through posting myself when things have been tough and then looking at the threads of people that have helped me and see if I can return the favour. Getting to know more of people stories from repeated support over weeks and months makes me feel like I know them a little better.

I don't think I have ever been in chat, maybe once years and years ago, so I can't really comment on that.

Is there anything to do with your problems that you would like to discuss here?

Yeah there is such a thing as feeling lonely in a crowd. I wonder if it's at least, in part, about the real and/vs the virtual world?

Ryl is such a huge place that it can be very daunting that said overall people are welcoming and the more you post the more your recognised the less lonely it becomes!!

I don't go into chat that much as it moves to fast for me but persevere with it!

What about posting an introduction thread now and see how that is received?

RYL as others have said can seem overwhelming, but we're mostly nice, I promise! Feel free to PM me if you need any support or just general chat :)

That is such a brillant idea. I seem to remember everyone I help, even from a year ago. So posting my own problems is actually a way for people to see me as well :)

I feel so much more comfortable in the virtual. People are so much easier to connect with. It seems to overcome a lot of issues we have in real life. The only time I get to connect with people is when we are forced to be around each other, such as with work or school. And even then it takes so much time and effort to build a relationship. Although its only easier on Tumblr and here that I've found. IRC, facebook, and other community forums can be difficult to connect with people. This place really shines for its empathy and altruism xD

I might just do that now XD

I love your honestly. "mostly nice". In the time I've been here it seem sooo friendly and supportive but I have noticed when you do start to build deep roots into this community then some of that negativity can come out in people. Never with me though, I'm a lover not a hater :P

Hey!

I was actually just about to run offline but I seen this thread and had to comment.

I totally agree, RYL can be soo lonely, i'm one of the more well known members here and I comment a lot on things but I still get lonely so I know how you feel but keep commenting on things, just keep with it and it will get better, it did with me, to a point.

If it's just random chat you want there are a few awesome threads in general and you'll always find me around that area.

I have a feeling i've typed all this out and not really explained anything about anything, sorry! bahaha.

If you ever need a chat or anything i'm just a PM away :)

Mike.

making friendships, of any sort, often doesn't happen naturally. people won't know that you want to be friends (online or in real life) unless you put yourself out there and make it clear that you are looking for friendship. if you don't do that, people just assume that you're ok how you are, and aren't looking to meet new people...

It can be lonely at times but there are a lot of lovely people here. Persevere with it, keep posting and don't feel afraid to ask for help yourself too. PMs and chat could be helpful - depends on your personality & what you find helps. I've made a lot of lovely friends from here over the years & they've seen me through a lot of bad times. Once people start to recognise you a bit more, you might feel a little less alone.

I hope you start to feel a bit more involved soon and I hope to see you around!

Take care. :) x

I never considered that. Coming to think of it, I cant really tell if someone is looking for a friendship within me either.

Well, I am looking for a friendship or two here xD

Just start talking to people, and dive in. :) Chat's great for making friends, but it's in real time.

The message boards can be a little slow theses days as there are less members around and not to many new ones joining and contributing how ever others like to dress it up

My advice would be to go in chat and get chatting

I'd reiterate that jumping in really does work well. If you've got a special interest hop right in and make a thread about it in general chat, if there's a thread in reviews and recommendations about something you've seen/heard, feel free to share your thoughts and interact with other people's views.

Personally, I made my first friends on RYL via threads in serious discussions and advice, oddly enough. There were a few threads that I replied to consistently, and found myself getting to know the people quite well, and there's two in particular who spring to mind who have become like family to me, and still are, two and a half years on.

Good luck and be brave! RYL is one of the friendliest places on earth if you can be fearless and get involved!

Hey,

I completely agree about RYL being lonely, I have been coming on here on and off since it was Ruin, although mostly as a lurker - in all that time I still don't really feel I 'know' anyone very well as I don't post much, though have been trying to more recently. I'd like to go to a meet at some point but not quite brave enough yet :/ !
But feel free to PM me at any time, I am friendly although not that great with giving advice :)

I feel exactly the same way on here much of the time. I am glad I don't feel alone in this.

I used to know people and then we were either banned or disbanded. "Cliques" are discouraged. So i left.

Cliques are a natural, it happens in every school, every work place every internet forum, they have allways been around and they will always be in the future. Discouraging it seems counter productive to me, particularly on a website like this.

Ive been on the receiving end on here like you, all my friends on here got banned around 2005 and ive lost touch with nearly all of them sonce and it makes me sad.