constructive comments please
 

ok, this thread is for civil discussion of what things people would like to see change about ryl. two rules.

#1 stay civil. think and calm down before you respond. try to read or respond to two other threads in between reading what has been said here and replying to it (to give yourself time so that you aren't responding when you're super emotionally charged)

#2 every criticism you give, every thing you say you want changed MUST be accompanied by an idea of how we could accomplish that change

have at it.

Great idea Katie. :)

I have no suggestions right now, but I'm sure some others do.

I don't actually understand the point of this thread. When you say change, what exactly do you mean?

like, clearly from reading other threads, people are unhappy, discontented, frustrated, angry, put out, etc by how some things are on this site. my hope is that people will express that in a way that is appropriate and propose ideas of how to make it better, so that it isn't just complaining without getting anything done.

and i'm sorry, i'm pretty sure i'm not explaining myself clearly, i'll keep trying.

for instance. if someone is feeling upset because they feel left out from a clique, they could say that, but then give an idea of how to make things less cliquey, like that we could do an RYL member scavenger hunt by each day challenging people who want to play to find someone new (like, "todays challenge is to find someone who has a pet lizard") to encourage people to break out from the social groups they're comfortable with. (and this is an idea off the top of my head, so it isn't fully formed and might be totally stupid. i'm just trying to find an example)

Thanks Katie, that makes more sense to me now!

I appreciate the idea of this thread.
However, from reading the thread this idea originated from I doubt anything constructive will come of it.
The basic arguments ther were: what people constituted as "rudeness" (which is subjective) and, as you mentioned, the "friendship groups" in and around RYL (which is something people always complain about with RYL, numerous times every year.)
Sometimes people become keyboard warriors and forums such as this are easy places to do that.
Logically speaking, any constructive changes to RYL are not really feasible with its current situation (overstretched and limited mods, lack of a present webmaster etc.)

i think that something constructive can from this if we can make bottom up change, from the users, rather that top down change from mods, supporters, etc.... maybe part of what would help this happen is to motivate people to be an active part of what happens on this site and aware of what sort of community they are creating... i might be overly optimistic, but i don't think pessimism will help...

That's a very good point and I hope to see this discussion go that way. Thank you.

I don't have much to suggest but there are things I don't like about the site but before I comment properly, I'll have a think and see if I can pinpoint things and come up with something productive.

I also wanted to say, although Harley isn't posting much he has been on a hell of a lot more as of late (every 2 or 3 days at least since Christmas).

^ That is something I'm really glad to hear and I hadn't noticed. Thanks :)

This thread is made a couple of times a year. It goes around in circles. Nothing gets decided and then it dies, only to be made months down the line.

I don't think this thread will end up going anywhere, but kudos to you for trying to be helpful. I think generally people on RYL would be better off if they spent far less time on RYL. People get so emotionally invested in this website it is sick and twisted.

Agreed, revolving basically your whole life around this site is not good.x

You're breaking rule #2 :nono:
I don't actually have anything constructive to add but I hope this thread can be used beneficially for the forum.

Sorry Emma.

hmmm.. a solution.


There is a lot of room for cliches when using RYL.

Whilst constructive, well thought out, sound advice is not always exactly what the person wants to hear, it is often the most helpful advice.

'if you have nothing nice to say, say nothing' would go a long way, as would 'Treat others the way you would like to be treated'.
Also
'Theres no use flogging a dead horse' < in regards to those situations where a person has no interest in listening to good advice.

No one should expect for hundreds of mentally interesting strangers to get on and to all have the same opinions, beliefs, interests and sense of humour.


Finally.. if something bothers you so much.. theres an ignore function. Use it.

^ blates just edited that a gajillion times.

Charlie, you give excellent advice - as always!

I think it's a bit harsh to say that peoples emotional investment in RYL is sick and twisted, it may not be healthy but that's not for us to decide. Equally I think it is hard for us to judge whether someone's whole life revolves around this site.

I think Katie is just trying to give people the opportunity to air their grievances in a way that could be helpful to others as opposed to hurtful.

I personally have learnt things from the thread that this is in response to and feel that it would be nice to have been able to have those suggestions without having to skim through the 'issues'. For one, I have learnt that often when people appear to respond in a potentially inappropriate / rude manner, it may be because they themselves are struggling and don't feel able to ask for help. I will therefore attempt to see it in such a way, rather than assuming they are being rude. I will also try to think of ways to potentially offer them support, although I will most likely find this hard as I personally feel intimidated by seemingly rude remarks...

Well said Charlie. x

As someone whos been here for like....8 years (as has crys) its easy to tell! Its not a judgement....if you want to spend your life here thats your decision,but it isnt healthy....just like its not healthy to revolve your life around any one thing.

Wise words from Jocelyn, as ever.

I don't think it's sick and twisted to emotionally invest in this site. It's not as if these are random strangers on the internet. In my case, RYL is another place to chat to my friends and 'hang out'. (Gosh, 'hang out' is a horrid little phrase isn't it?.) These are my real life friends who I meet up with, one of whom I live with, others who visit a lot, others who live far away and who I only get to speak to online, mainly actually facebook and skype, not here.

It's an unconventional form of socialising but for someone who has to schedule socialising around a load of other stuff and who gets on surprisingly well with mental people, it's ideal.

Thankfully my life doesn't actually revolve around this site; it revolves around facebook, my girlfriend, buffets, organising gatherings and, of course, my own ego :p

Also, Charlie is wise.