bawls.
 

I don't know what I'm doing here
when I could be spending $3 at autozone on a can of carb cleaner to cleanse the thoughts.
I feel like I had some really profound, interesting things to say and think about
when I was high
I feel like theres no f!cking point to staying this way
& here, what else is there to do, really?
I'm so very tired of being sick.
how does reality compare? people have been sicker. people have seen stranger. I'm not special. But I'm brave when I'm huffing.
so what is really stopping me?
****.

Huffing is awful :(. Zmoke a bowl of pot or something else.

Drugs, like self harm, don't really fix anything in the long term. They're just a temporary, maladaptive coping mechanism, and they're not going to change anything.

What's going on for you at the moment that you feel like this?

my goodness that is a loaded question... so much sht man. Just nonsense.
I guess I could just say I'm at a very sensitive crossroad right now. I have few decisions to make
let's just say they're not easy ones
& I've been sick for quite awhile..... too

I suppose you are right
but good god, I've never been more tempted
my ex huffed himself half-brain-dead
the carelessness he has just seems so peaceful
complacent.
I don't know... He doesn't have dreams (or nightmares) anymore.
that seems nice.

I probably do need to smoke a bowl and do some meditating or something

Brain dead isn't good. The dying on that **** isn't great either. Move to a legalised state of 420's and yeah..

What decision do u have to make where you rather be braindead?