Struggling as a parent
 

I have a 14 month old daughter, Caydee. She is a very happy, energetic child. She loves books and watching Elmo. I love my daughter more than anything. I feed her, change her, bathe her, make sure she takes a nap and stays away from dangers...but I have a poor relationship with her. I don't play with her like I should.

Since she was born, I've just had a hard time connecting and getting excited about being a mom. I went back to work 8 weeks after delivery and worked full time up until about 3 weeks ago, when I lost my job. Staying home all the time has made me realize just how little attention I give to my child. It boggles my mind how I can do this, and yet it makes so much sense.

My own mother did not pay much attention to me. She has her own mental health issues, including bipolar disorder, which made it difficult for her to have that selflessness you really need as a parent. I find myself dealing with the same thing.

I have tried spending more time with her, but she now she seems stuck on watching Sesame Street all the time and gets fussy when I try to play with her. She's calm when I read to her but that's about it. I'm about to start another full time job in January. I know I need to do something to strengthen my bond with her, but I don't know what to do.

I want to be a better parent, I just don't know how?!

I think parenting is a difficult topic to give advice on, as everyone has their own ideas, and priorities. I imagine you weren't working from 8weeks through choice, so don't beat yourself up. Everyone has to work. But maybe appreciate being made redundant (I know this sounds stupid) as a reason to focus on your relationship with her. You clearly love and what's important is that you know your daughter. Maybe focus the time you were working on your daughter now - there's still so much time to build your relationship.

There are no answers I'm afraid - maybe try toddler groups if you want to see how other people play and build relationships with their children?