I hate this,
 

Hey Helen,

Is there someone who could come and be with you? I hope you get through tonight, maybe you could do something tomorrow to make the time go quicker?

So many people here care for you, don't worry about not being able to reply. Is a & e an option?

xxx

Hey,

Your not a selfish bitch at all. It's good to ask for support, rather than keeping it inside which will make you feel 10x worse.

is there anyone that can come and keep you company until you see your care coordinator? If you don't feel safe, please phone someone or go to a&e so they can help you, no-one will think bad of you if you go, I promise. And please don't feel bad for not posting, you & your health come first and you need to make sure your a priority.

Take Care.

You are certainly not selfish, I am glad you are trying, it is a good thing. I'm sorry you're not well, I don't know what i could do for you but listen. Maybe a & e is a good idea?

You are far from selfish my love, if you need time to look after you you should take it-plus if you take care of yourself and let yourself get well you'll be that much better a help for others later on, yes?

I hope you manage to hold on for your care coordinator. What do you think would help you get through today?

Hey Helen,

Sending you lots of gentle hugs. You aren't a selfish bitch at all; I'm really proud of you for making a thread. I know that you don't want to and you feel you don't deserve to but you do and you are so, so loved within this community. We want to be able to help you as much as we can.

Things sound really awful right now. I hope that you can hold on for your care co-ordinator and that you got through last night safely. Let me know if there is anything I can do hun?

Lots of love xxx

Helen lovely,

I'm really glad you posted, you're not selfish at all love.
I don't have much advice but I'm sending you hugs and love.
You're in my thoughts!

Emma x

Hey sweetheart

i am sorry things are so hard but i am SO SO glad to see you post here again.The silence was worrying me and i care about you so much.Even when im not in touch and im sorry ive been pretty useless recently.

i hope you are safe and have got through this weekend and im really pleased you are seeing your care co-ordinator tomorrow.Please be honest with her and i really hope it helps.

As always i am thinking of you but i send you lots of extra love and hugs too in the hope it will help you get through this time.

Sorry im rubbish with words and things right now.Text and contact me anytime.i love you.

xx xx

Hey
my advice to you would be to say yes for to go to hospital and then it would be on your on terms and you will get out within a few days if things go alright. They are doing it for a reason and it's for your own protection.
sending you lots of hugs

Hiya,

We've not spoken but I've read a few of your recent posts.

I can only imagine how desperate you must be feeling right now, but please try not to harm yourself. As you're aware, it is only likely to make the situation worse; not just by increasing the risk to your physical health, but by complicating the review tomorrow.

Do you think there is any chance you can be honest with everybody tomorrow? Explain how scared and confused you feel about recovery? Although I'm sure they would prefer for you to agree to going into hospital, they will understand that things don't change overnight. Being honest is often the most productive thing when it comes to getting appropriate help.

You've talked about how pressured you feel to give them the answers that everyone else wants, but have you thought about what you really want? If it were between a psychiatric ward or an ED ward, what do you think would be most helpful for you in the short-term? Is there anything else you think your team could do to help you? I know it must be stressful to even begin thinking about all that, but if you're able to explore what you want for yourself (even if it's just a little), that might make tomorrow easier to cope with.

Best of luck.

Be honest, because when the time comes that you do want all the help you can get towards recovery, they'll need to believe you're going to use it, to want to secure a service for you.

Right now you're honest enough with yourself to admit you are not ready, which, is not okay, but it's where you're at and it has to be respected. I think its much easier for people working with you to know what you are willing to do and not do. They may feel a general psych ward admission is the best thing in the short term, and that could be against your will. But if you tell them you're not ready for recovery, hopefully they will be able to work out what they can do to support you and keep you as safe as possible under the current circumstances.

Maybe you could have an admission to a psych ward, get some general support and have a bit of a 'break' [sorry, not the word, but, have some of the keeping safe done for you temporarily] and use the time to talk about what you want to do/what direction you want to go in when you get discharged. It sounds like you're stuck, and I know that place, but it can help to have a long hard think about the future, what you want for yourself, because life is what you make it. And I think you're a creative person, so....

I hope the meeting goes okay, its hard when you feel so much of your fate lies beyond your control, but I do believe you can get that control back in your hands, if you choose. It doesn't have to be like this.

xx

Hi Helen,

I don't know if it helps, but I was recently in a similar situation. In the end, I agreed with my team to be admitted for physical stabilisation, implementing a regular, but not a full, diet, and reducing the binge/purge behaviours, to the point where my physical health remains stable on discharge. I think they'll understand that you don't want to recover yet, but they don't want you to die, sweet. You've got too much to give to the world. I hope the decision made tomorrow will help you, even if you hate it in the short term x

You need to be in hospital baby girl.

I'm sorry I haven't been texting much lately, struggling a lot, but I do care and love you and worry for you and think of you everyday.

Maybe hospital would help?

What have you got to lose by going? By being honest? By trying for recovery? Your ED will be there if it doesn't work out, but maybe, just maybe, you will find that you don't want to go back to it, you'll want to recover and try to do so, you'll want to have a life without it, you'll want to live, not just merely survive day in day out wishing that death would come along and save you from this torture and suffering, maybe you'll have another chance at living again and being happy and free and content with who you are and you in general and actually liking yourself and being okay again...

You have more to gain than to lose baby.

Think hard about it, yeah?

Either way, I just can't lose you.
I can't.

Love you.
xxxxxx

Hey Hel,

I agree with everything MissA said.

I hope you will be able to get through tonight safely. I can only imagine how difficult this is for you but I can relate to being so afraid of the next step, that thoughts of harming have come in to it so that I can't attend etc.

Will be thinking of you tomorrow <3

Lots of love xxx

Everyone else has better words than me but I just wanted to say that my thoughts are with you. I don't think we've ever spoken but I've seen you around and I can only imagine from what I've read how much you must be struggling right now.
Hang on in there.

Thinking of you, my lovely. You know that things can't carry on like they are, you deserve so much better & I couldn't agree more with Sarah when she says you've nothing to lose by giving it a go, only the whole world to gain.

Much careful love.
X

Just want to say good luck...go with whatever support you get offered, I know how anxiety-provoking hospital can be, so thinking of you. Take Care and read over what people have put on here...you clearly have lovely people around you who care and love you....

You are in my thoughts Helen.
I really hope they do admit you to hospital purely because you are so unwell and I really don't want us to lose you to this horrible ED.

Much love xx