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-   -   one month to wedding but serious doubts (https://www.recoveryourlife.com/forum/showthread.php?t=195014)

StillVacant 21-09-2012 10:58 PM

one month to wedding but serious doubts
 
sooo... posted a while back about needing couples counselling but couldn't afford it. and now we are still arguing, basically every evening. We are sleeping in separate rooms a lot because of fighting so much, and I keep a wash kit and spare pants in my work satchel in case I need to go to a hotel rather than go home.

and we are getting married next month.

needless to say I am doing most of the work for the wedding.

We love each other and noone else but I think we are tearing each other apart.

there are other stressors like new jobs which are demanding, and having to put up friends so not much time together, and his drinking is a major cause of arguments.

I don't know what to do. I want to get married. But I am mostly unhappy.

:(
bleugh

englishrose 22-09-2012 12:25 AM

Relationships are hard and talking openly to your other half is even harder! But I guess marriage is a real big step and I see marriage as forever and it's looking at your relationship and asking if talking openly and honestly ( but with that means allowing the other person to talk and say anything without you guys arguing) would change things, what would change things for the better? What are you doing to cause the situation? And what is he doing?
Marriage in no way makes things better but planning a wedding is streeful and with other life events at the moment could it be that rather then you guys together. Sorry if not helped but hang on in there xx

Crayons 24-09-2012 09:52 PM

This sounds so stressful.
But I have to say that to me, it doesn't sound like you should be marrying this guy. Getting married means you intend to spend the rest of forever with someone, and you guys can barely be in the same room. I realise you've not explained all the good things about the relationship, but do you really think you and he can make things work well enough for you to actually be happy and not fight all the time?
I don't know, it's just that what you've posted makes me feel that things really aren't right.


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