I've got a question
 

So, I was abused by my brother when I was eleven. I never wear clothes that accentuate my breasts or that show cleavage because I feel dirty and ashamed when people look at them. And it feels just as it used to feel like when somebody like, walks by and touches them with their elbow or whatever.

Now my question is, will that ever change? I haven't had sex yet, and I don't have a boyfriend, but I am in love. I don't want to endure this when I want to be close to the person I trust & love..

It will change. Right now, your first and only experience with sex has been abusive. But things can change. You can replace the awful dirty feelings with loving, gentle feelings about sex. It takes time, and a partner who genuinely respects you, but it can be done.

I would also say this: Resist the temptation to repeat what happened with your brother with other boys. I don't mean you will invite or ask other people to abuse you again, but you may be less able to tell the difference between healthy and abusive sex because of your experiences.

Pay close attention to how you feel after being sexual with someone. If you feel anything like you felt after what your brother did, it is not healthy. And you always have the right to ask someone to stop something you don't like to your body. It may be useful to tell this person you love and trust about what happened, so that they can understand more and comfort you.

Whatever happens, take good care of yourself :).

thank you for this <3

It can be difficult to overcome bad experiences of sex, but it will happen. Take things slow, take things at a rate you are comfortable with, and be open with your partner. It might be difficult at first, but eventually it will get easier.

Take care honey, and good luck with everything *hugs*
Katie xx