Reasons Why
 

I'm trying to explain to a friend how cutting makes me feel and what it's like/why I do it. Can you guys share your reasons/feelings? It might help me put my feelings into words better. Thanks

I think it's indiviual for every person but I can relate to finding it difficult to explain how it actually feels and helps.

For me, it was about putting my emotional pain in to physical pain so for a [very] brief time I was numb to the emotional stuff.

It's about regaining some semblance of control over our pain.

It lifts a big weight. I feel a lot more relaxed and calm afterwards.

to focus and clear my head of the anxiety and frantic thoughts

At first its a way to release all the built up pain and anger and to gain some control but after becoming numb and losing the ability to feel it becomes the only way to verify if you're still alive and if you still feel. It is also a comfort and a friend that soon becomes an enemy.

It's still the only friend that I can depend on to be near when needed.

That's just exactly how I feel at the moment.

It makes me feel calm and I deserve the pain.

This may sound like I am over-simplifying a sometimes very complicated problem, but for me, I have one word: endorphins

Cutting = physical pain, which releases endorphins, which cause that relaxed/dreamy feeling.

It is important to note that endorphins themselves can be quite addictive, which is of course why it can be so difficult to break the habit of self-harm.

When I used to cut, my number one trigger was anger/frustration. I am hopeless at releasing anger and conveying my frustrations at people who make me feel that way, so I would always turn those negative emotions inwards, which lead(s) to self-destruction.

For me it's about giving myself the punishment and pain that I deserve, for being me; I hate myself. Sometimes it's like, I've lost all self respect anyway, so why not cut myself even more?

People self-injure for different reasons. I used to cut but have moved on to hitting myself to get bruises.

A lot of reasons for my self-harm have to do with control. Validation of pain is another.

I was born with a lot of medical issues, some I still struggle with. Since those things are out of my control, harming is comforting and releases tension. When I hurt myself, I experience pain on my terms. Iam running the show not anyone else. Harming also serves as release valve when overwhelming feelings pile up. After harming I feel grounded, calm.

I also grew up feeling invalidated, so harming became a way to express my feelings when I felt I couldn't talk about how I felt. Seeing physical proof (cuts, scratches, bruises) made me feel like my feelings, my pain mattered.

It took me a long time to figure out the reasons behind my self-harm. Hope my explanation helps.

Also this

For me:
- Stops the thoughts and flashbacks - allows me to go into a different world and focus on the injury - calming
- Punishment for being a bad person
- Gets the badness out of me - makes me cleaner, punish myself in a way I can control so others don't see the badness and punish me themselves for it
- Puts me back in control of myself and my emotions - prevents worse
- A way I can deal with things without needing to bother or involve others - makes me self sufficient.

For me, when I did it:

--Calmed flashbacks
--Focused and grounded me
--Helped me sleep
--A soothing, familiar routine that I could control
--Made me feel clean inside
--Expressed pain I felt I couldn't let out any other way
--Made difficult-to-express feelings into tangible wounds I could care for