I cant do this
 

Im falling apart, to much shit is happening and im really struggling. I feel suicidal and extrely parnoid, going to my gp tommorow to ask hi if he can medicate this away. but i coud use some support

How can you distract yourself to get through tonight before seeing your GP tomorrow?

Anything you like doing?

**Hugs**

il probally just watch loads of films to take my mind of scary things

im really not ok:(

oh god i cant do this i actually cant do this. arghhhhhhhhhhhh

I feel so alone right now and abandoned by everyone. Iv been through way to much in the past year, People iv cared about have died, iv lost all my friends, had health issues, iv been violated (dont wanna say what happened in detail) and i get the feeling im going to break my month and a half free of self harm tonight. To be honest I want to kill myself, noone would actually care I have noone, but i dont think my parents could afford my funeral that puts me of, i dont want to cause problems. Iv already figured out how I would do it though, shame i couldnt just hide my body somewhere, damn i just have to get though tonight so i can get to the docor tommorow. but i have noone to turn to. and i feel so much pain in my head

i'm sorry i dont have any wise words. but i wanted to tell you i read and i care. i'm in a similar position tonight. stay here with me x

I'm sorry Darl' I hope you're okay..x

hope your doctor's visit goes well today! hang in there. life can get better. I've learned it's best to take one small step a day at a time.

and setbacks do happen unfortunately. you gotta just keep trying and fighting. and getting the help you need

Doctor did nothing. I actually cant do this. im once again extremly triggered and low

in the past, have you felt like you actually couldn't make it through? i'm just asking, cause i know that i would feel like that, and then realize that i'd felt that low and triggered previously and that i had made it through those times.

I have but it feels diffrent this time, in the past I had people to support me and hope for the future, i feel like im loosing my hope and iv lost most my friends

Is there anyone around I can talk to i feel really bad at the moment.

From your other post hun, it seems that you are viewing things as very black & white. Please don't take that as a criticism because it's not, it's more of an observation because sometimes it's certainly hard for us to realise that we are thinking in very polarised ways and it can be helpful for other people to help us acknowledge that and see the difference.
Your Doctor has given you the number for the crisis team and I thought was looking in to what medication you could be given whilst waiting for the referral he has put in for the psychiatric team?

How would you feel about ringing the crisis team now? I appreciate your concerns about seeing them at home but it sounds like you really need their help and in the long-term, the best people to support you are the mental health team. If you don't contact the crisis team, how can they know how serious things are for you? It would be beneficial for the team to know how much you are struggling so that the referral can be pushed through if possible.

Anyway, I am online for a while if you would like to chat.

x

Hello,
Sorry things are bad, and that you found your doctor unhelpful :-/ What exactly did he/she say?

In terms of feeling like you've lost your hope for the future, I saw on your R/V that one of the things you're holding on for is your degree. Would it help to tell us a bit about what your studying and what you want to do with your degree, to help remind yourself the reasons to hang on?

I suppose my doctor was being helpful but hes organizing me long term help instead of short term help which is what I went to him asking for, but I dont think im stable enough to wait for that help, he also left me with the crisis team number but im really struggling to get the courage to phone them.

I'm studying animal science, only got one year left of it. I dont really know what I want to do with it, I wouldnt mind working in a zoo or even a lab.

have you ever phoned anyone before? (like the samaritans)

if you're studying animal science, i take it that you like animals. maybe you would find it soothing or fun to be around some animals. if you've got a pet, you could spend time relaxing and playing with them. if you don't, maybe there is an animal shelter where you could help walk dogs or something...

I'v texted the samaritans before I have issues with phone, I have a cat but to be honest he doesn't do much for my mood.

is there any way you could reach the crisis team via email? you wouldn't be the first person to have trouble with phones...

Iv looked them up online. I cant find an email anywhere :( I suppose I could go to the gp, tell him I cant phone them and ask him to, but that seems like a bit of waster of doctors time