psychosis
 

HI,

I don't really know how to write any of this but basically my camhs psych said i was showing signs of early psychosis and i don't know what to do because i think i am going down that path well i don't really know really because i don't know much about psychosis. Sorry.

Basically i think she said because i kinda hear voices but it's not like properly physically hearing them i know they're in mind and i kinda see self-harm as a person that’s real in my mind and i have to do it to make it happy if i don’t the voice gets angry and i have to O.D . CAMHs doesn’t know this but (They only know about the voice) but sometimes I see 'self-harm' as like person but it doesn’t have a face it's like a dark shadow kinda thing. Also everything’s becoming to seem so unreal like this isn't reality. It seems to keep getting worse and because my mood is also 'low' when things don't seem real like i want to try and kill myself again and do self-destructive stuff.

i don't want to tell camhs because i don't really talk to people, i don't like talking to people in person generally and Like therapists try and get inside your head and i don't want them to do that!! Also i'm leaving camhs at the end of July so don't see the point and i don't plan on getting to know my therapist at the CMHT.

Sorry this is long but i don't know who to turn to. i'm also worried this is going to get worse and that my psych is right an i'm developing psychosis
but to be honest i really hope she's got it wrong.

Thank you for taking the time to read this, i'll be here if anyone else wants to talk? x

I forgot to say i am on 1.5mg of risperidone

Hi,
Thank you for your reply, It means alot.

The problem is i've started to see it's getting worse like i'm paranoid and think i'm some sort of freak and i think everyone that knows wishes i wasn't around because i'm like not human or something. I also keep thinking theres camera's everywhere like on that movie the Truemen show (where this guy is kept in a fake world and everyone is actors and cameras follow him but he thinks it's all real). I know it sounds so stupid and werid andI keep trying to make myself think that it's not real but sometimes it seems it.

I've only been referred to adult services by camhs and my camhs psych asked them to refer me to like a mental health nurse.

Thank you for the hug <3

I think it is important that you stay honest with your team so they can give you the best treament that will hopefully lessen your symptoms.

I have also resently been diagnosed with psychosis and I understand how scared you feel x

I feel very similar. I got told I was psychotic today for the first time :sad: I've been in the system a while & already know a fair bit about psychosis but I hated hearing that word. You are still human *hugs* it just depersonalises you sometimes, having these labels put on you rather than you getting treated like a person. I also get paranoid about life being one huge joke & people watching me.

You're not alone x

Im really sorry you got told that, Thank you so much. What you've said means alot, it helps knowing there are other people in the same boat.
here for you if you want to talk about them telling you were psychotic or anything else.

:Grin:
xx

Hi.
Do you think you could write a letter to the people at CAMHS (or the CMHT depending on when you move) explaining things?

Words can be scary, hearing for the first time, but it's more important how they're dealt with.

it's important to tell them everything so they can treat you accordingly. not only that but are you stressed out at the moment? The best thing to do is to take time out and relax as much as you can, do enjoyable things because sometimes psychosis is worsened by stressors.

When I was poorly with psychosis it got SO much worse when I was facing uni work so i had to take a year out and it died down a lot just by removing that stress out of my life for now. xx