Done with Bipolar
 

I'm done with bipolar! I'm sick of the medications. I'm sick of the side effects. Most of all I'm sick of having to fake it every single day. Trying to smile when I'm so depressed. Lying when someone asks if I'm OK. Going through the motions when life is meaningless to me. And if it's going to take something drastic to change all this, so be it. I'm done.

The thing with bipolar is that it comes in episodes, so there must be times when you are well? I'm diagnosed bp1 and have years of being well in between episodes.

Trying different meds is tough, but eventually you will find one or a combo that suit. It took me years but it seems lithium is my saviour.

I could really use some support. I've been in a deep depression for three weeks now. It's wearing me down. I can't concentrate on my schoolwork and I have three unstarted papers due in two weeks. I'm afraid that I won't graduate. Work is just draining me. I have two days left of my internship and I feel like not showing up. I obsess about suicide all the time. is anyone else stressing over the end of the semester? this episode could not have come at a worse time.

Have you told your team about your depression? If not I think you should they may be able to help. A re-jig in meds might help you get through this hard time x

I really don't want to change any meds. I'm trying to get off of them. I just have a therapist and she knows what is going on however i conveniantly forgot to tell her last week that I had relapsed and did some self injuring. i don't think its worth getting into. I just haveto graduate. im way behind and don't know what to do. I started tearing up while talking to a professor last week and she asked if i wanted to close the door and talk. I really cant' do that I am in the social work program. let them in would not be a good thing. i do see a psychiatrist on may first but I only can see him once a month and I don[t want to change my meds so i dont' care. sorry, i know it sounds liek i am being stubborn but i hate the meds and they make me tired and fat

Bipolar and especially the depression sucks.

But like any illness you have to manage it and to keep on top of it. I've found that for me it's helpful to let people know sooner rather than later because whilst it won't necessarily stave of an episode it has helped me try things and that may mean medication which like you I hate but I see it as a necessary evil.

Not all medication has the side effects of tiredness and weight gain. I wonder if you can talk to your pscyhiatrist and see if together you can find one that works better for you?

I am actually very good at staying on top of my illness but I still get a little irrational at times. My medication situation is that we tried a lot of medications and nothing worked right. They put me on a last resort med that they don't like to use. It did help a lot and really saved my life at the time. But now I know that I need to deal with things on my own. I tried to stop it last summer and the results were catastrophic. I still need to try again. I don't want to live like this.