I am not an alcoholic, but I need alcohol
 

This is my first post and I don't know quite what to write. For over a year now I have been "needing" alcohol almost every day. I don't think I am an alcoholic because I am fine not drinking anything a day or two, even if I am craving it. Sometimes I will drink in the mornings before I go to work.

When I drink a lot I often want to hurt myself, and a lot of the time I cant go out with friends for a drink because I will drink far too much. A lot of the time I will drink so much that I pass out and cant remember what I did the previous day. I dont want to stop because I dont know what to replace the drinking with, but I know this cant be good for me.

Has anyone else been in this situation?

I have read before that it is extremely easy for alcoholics to stop for a week or 2, thats why so many people dont realise they have addicition problems, or can convince others. my boyfriend has a drink problem (and my own kind of burgeoning) and recently he went to see his gp about it and got referred to the addictions service for support.

people think of the alcoholics as drunks living in the street, not them, but it can happen to anyone. my boyfriend would be out with friends and then have a drink in the house most nights. now a few years on and he has liver damage. seriously think about going to see your gp.

i know what you mean about about need to replace drinking - is there any hobbies or anything that you enjoy? art and crafts, games etc?

I have been meaning to see a GP, but I have recently moved and its been taking a while to register with a new one.

I do have a lot of hobbies, but I tend to do them whilst drinking. I have told my boyfriend about my problem but I still drink behind his back. I'm getting a bit worried about liver damage and other health problems but not enough to want me to stop drinking.

What would it take for you to stop? You're concerned somewhat if you're posting about it.

Good luck.

Sounds like you are having a hard time there, quitting is never easy and you really have to want to stop and be motivated to take the necessary action in order to stop or it will be near impossible to follow through. Don't try and do it alone , whil;e possible it is extremely hard and as for your boyfriend even if he is the most resilient and best person in the world it is not fair to have him be your sole partner in recovery. Involve a therapist, or get yourself in a twelve step program or some other form of physical support group. As amazing as RYL is in many aspects its no substitute for face to face contact in recovery. Make your self a big list of all the good reasons you need to stop drinking or at least cut back.... read it 5-10x (repeat this often) then make a list of why you dont want to stop and try and counter all those points .... get your boyfriend to help in this process... thats not asking too much.
Best of luck, take care stay safe get healthy