Domestic Problems - advice on conunselling
 

Yo.

So, my fiance and I have been having a lot of very destructive arguments the last few months. I have started cutting again after a pretty long break (long for me - several months).

I am obviously having massive doubts about a wedding at the moment.

We looked into couples counselling through relate but it seems really pricey and it's only in the week daytime which is no good for us as we work full time.

I don't know if anyone else has had couples counselling and/or knows normal prices, length of time for the whole process, or what kind of issues they really can help with.

I don't want to end it - the love and loyalty is strong. But our communication is abysmal and it's a relatively recent thing.
Basically since we got engaged.

Part of me thinks it's the pressure of knowing that this is a lifelong commitment now and just to stick it out coz all the pressure will release once we're married.
But... if I'm wrong then we are just headed for a divorce and we don't want that either.

Bleugh.

Safe, SV

Have you thought about holding the wedding off for a bit so you can try and sort things out with each other?
I have the same problem with my fiance sometimes and usually it's just because we need some space from each other for a bit so one of us will go out for a few hours or for the night and then it's fine the next day, have you tried that at all?

Sorry I don't have much in the way of advice, hope this helps a bit though

we have until october so I don't want to put a halt on anything yet. We do often take time out but neither of us like to just leave things...
Things were a lot better last weekend though and we've discussed a lot more stuff. He's admitted his anxiety problems are part of the root of our arguments and has started opening up about that a lot more. He's said he will go and see a GP, which I hope will help...

Sorry there's been not many replies, but you know how vets can be at times.
Anyways, you say it's in the last 'few months'...how long have you been together?
Without that answer it's a bit hard to go on, but I'll try (lucky you :P)
Has something changed in that time period? Such as spending more time together/living together/change of jobs/etc?
It's great he has agreed to see a GP and that you have talked, esp. the last bit.
Honestly? The best 'couples advice' I think anyone can give is exactly that; talk.
And talk.
And then talk some more.
This should be someone you can say/do/feel anything in front of...your best friend.
But, just because there are some issues now, doesn't have to mean disaster. Good for you both for talking and for taking action.
You mentioned cost...could your GP (or do you have a care team?) suggest someone/something that is reasonable?
Many places offer couns. for free, tho it is usually a limited number of sessions, but better than nothing and it may open up other resources otherwise unknown.
Have to say I remember you and really wish the best for you.
Hope that helped at least a bit...
thinking of you.
xx

Some religious settings offer free counselling/mediation and you don't have to attend, just live in the commu it, its not a medical/psychological/aproach, but more pastoral.