"If we could wave a magic wand ..."
 

"... what would you like to change? What would make it better?"


I'm sick of this question. Always asked by therapists, the crisis team, doctors. And it makes me feel like **** because I don't have anything to tell them. I don't frigging KNOW what would "make it better". So I just end up crying and they start getting antsy because I can't think of anything. If there's nothing I want to change, I shouldn't be depressed, right?

I find these kinds of questions even more upsetting than whatever it was that caused me to hurt myself in the first place. It just emphasises the fact that I'm a hopeless case because I don't have any issues to work on.

Make sense? :-(

i was asked this for the tenth time today by my therapist,

i don't frickin know, i would be happy, slim, smart, god i don't know

sorry not helpful im being a grump today

Hate this question, when i answer it they always say well that won't happen, so really there was no point in asking the question in the first place!

Silly people! x x

Thats one of the questions that always sticks in my mind when i was assessed by the crisis team.. I was already pissed off and he knew that he even said ' you look a bit pissed of' I thought of saying ' I wish i had ended my life a few days ago and i wish i wasn't alive and still breathing' But what came out was ' I don't know'

It is definitely such an over used question and statement.

Yeah, that's kind of a stupid question. If I knew what I needed to change, don't you think I'd be working on changing it? Plus, to me life is like a row of dominoes--if I change one thing, that changes a bunch of things.

I don't think it's a stupid question. For some people there might be a particular issue which is causing them a lot of distress - for example being homeless, being lonely, no job etc. These kinds of issues can be addressed. I agree that it's overused though and doesn't apply to everybody.

^
That's a good point Mikey. I can definitely see the value to it at times. Just not as often as it is, like you said.

I'm still waiting for my magic wand. Because once I have one I won't need to know what precisely needs "fixing" - I'll just have to wave it and say 'make me and all the people I care about happy' and it will automatically know what to do!
Of course there's other less selfish things that I will also do with my magic wand too but that isn't what this thread is about :P
x

I always thought this question just reminded me of the things that would never happen, and the things that I would never have.
It really just upset me, because I knew there was nothing they, nor I, could do to change it.

Anyway, on to some support/advice, just because you haven't yet found your reason, doesn't mean your depression is not valid. Some people have reasons making them unhappy that are buried so deep that the person never even thinks about it being a problem, some people have no set one reason for being depressed and it is just brought on by everday stresses and worries, and some people don't even have any reason at all. Have you tried explaining to them you can't find the reason you are depressed? Therapists should understand be trained to help you discover this and then work on it.

I hope you find the help you need x
~ Holly

I'm not so keen on this question, just because I generally don't like to dwell to much on "what if's" I prefer to try to plan and work on changing things to get nearer to being happier/healthier.

Also I would like to think that I wouldn't want anything to just magically get better, because I've already put a lot of hard work into getting better, I'd like to sort of finish the job myself if that makes sense.