Your opinions on cheating?
 

I am DEEPLY in love with my boyfriend, and we've been together 8 months....however, My best friend and I were messing around a bit last night and I was wondering what other people think: is same-sex "involvement" the same as "cheating" on your significant other? (if you are in an opposite sex relationship?) I'm not looking for people telling me that I'm a bad person or anything, simply other peoples thoughts.

Ask yourself how you would feel if he did something like this to you... But in my opinion, yes it is cheating. I know my ex boyfriend has said that he considers that cheating, also. The best thing you can do is tell your boyfriend about it.

he already knows and doesn't care, i was just wondering how other people felt about it.

I would consider it cheating, yes.

Yeah, in my opinion it's cheating.

I think that anything from kissing, to touching, to sex is cheating.

If your boyfriend 'messed around' with one of his male friends, what would you think or feel? I'm just curious.

Is this something you would openly discuss with your partner?

If not, and if the reason why you wouldnt is because you think he would be unhappy.. then yeah.. cheating.

Have you considered a 3some?

Whether or not it is cheating really depends on your relationship and how it would react to this sort of thing. I know a few people in 'open relationships' where this sort of thing doesn't matter, but for the vast majority of people this would be considered cheating, yes.

I think it's only cheating if he minds, which you said he doesn't care so I don't think so. Relationships are what the two of you agree on; cheating to me is breaking the agreements two people have set for a relationship. So if part of both of your idea of a relationship is that involvement with the same sex is ok, then I don't see a problem at all. Now if he cared or you hadn't discussed it with him, that would be a problem. But I don't think other people's idea of your relationship with him matter. It only matters what the two of you are ok with.

It's cheating because you were intimate with someone else, whether or not your boyfriend cares or not, is more the relationship problem

Yup. I agree with beautiful seclusion.

Cheating is breaking the rules that you two have set.

I see nothing wrong getting intimate with your closest same sex friend. I only see it as a problem if you start feeling more strongly for your friend than for you SO.

Also, agree with squirrel spit (sorry, can't remember your name atm) have you considered a 3way?

If my partner decided to nibble the naughties of his closest friend one night, yeah, I'd be okay with it. They are really close and I'm not jealous of their relationship, I actually find it to be quite beautiful.....

Idk, I dont follow the typical thought pattern....

I don't think anyone has a right to judge you for what you and your boyfriend find acceptable and not acceptable in your relationship. All that matters is that the two of you communicate, and I'm not sure why people here seem to have such a problem with it; I'm actually kinda surprised at the majority of responses here. People seem to have this idea of what they would want in a relationship and expect all couples to behave this way. But what about say hugging? Some boyfriends might have a problem with their girlfriend hugging another guy (or girl) for example. But a lot wouldn't consider this a big deal. It's all relative to what the two of you agree on for the terms of the relationship what constitutes cheating, as another poster said well. That's what open relationships are about too. They just have different rules than the majority and that shouldn't be looked down upon just because they are different. If we go back a hundred or two years ago, I'm sure what they saw as unfaithful is quite different from now. There is no absolute rule on it, it's a person thing between two (or more) people in a relationship. So long as no one is being lied to or otherwise deceived, what is the problem? I really hope you don't feel judged for doing what you feel is ok and have completely communicated with your partner about.

I would consider it cheating, if I did anything like that my partner would consider it cheating and I'd feel the same if he did anything sexual with another man.

I believe that personally in my relationship, it would violate the trust and love we have if one of us were to cheat, which is the same reason we'd not consider a threesome/foursome/open relationship etc. But that's just me and my partner and everyone is different, the world would be rather boring if everyone were the same :)

erm, it depends i guess. Every relationship is different. I personally would be less bothered if it was the same sex rather than opposite. But its up to each couple to decide what is 'right' and 'wrong'.

I agree with beautiful seclusion regarding the relationship. As for my relationship I will kiss my female friends on the lips occasionally (this is a light peck as a greeting or goodbye and nothing more) and my boyfriend doesn't have a problem with this however he would definitely mind if I was more intimate with them, but this is a personal thing and it depends on the type of relationship you are in and both of your views on the situation.
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Well, from personal experience, one of my friends is in a relationship with a boy and she wanted to kiss me (I`m a girl). She felt that it would not be cheating and asked her boyfriend and he agreed.

Personally, I disagreed because I felt that she would be cheating on him by doing that with me. Unless it is just a friendly greeting or slight peck, it means she is in some way attracted to me and is acting on those feelings, which is what i consider cheating.

But, I think it really depends on what you and your boyfriend agree on.

Hey bud, well... personally I do consider it cheating, but honestly if you tell your boyfriend with commplete honesty he will see your sincere... so dont worry too much.
best of luck!

See I would agree with that if people were saying their opinion in their own relationships, and I wasn't referring to those posts that were doing just that, but I was kinda surprised at the posts that came across as judgmental towards the OP's particular relationship arrangement and making a judgement on the OP's relationship quality, etc. I can see opinions on how people personally act in their own relationships, but my first response was just a bit surprised more than anything else at the amount of people who, if I was the OP, I'd feel judged by. I guess it just took me by surprise to see that on this particular site and I hope that the OP doesn't feel attacked for their personal choices by the responses.

Well, I have to say that, if I messed around on my boyfriend with a friend, even just once, I would feel guilty as though I'd cheated on him. You say your boyfriend wasn't bothered when you told him, so maybe he doesn't think it's cheating, or doesn't think it's a bad thing. Everybody's opinion is different.

How did you feel about it? Guilty, or okay? If you felt guilty (I'm guessing here, since you felt it was worth posting over, that you do, a little at least), it's worth reflecting on that more, to try and suss out for yourself how you feel about it.