Therapy - At what point is it too much?
 

There are people on this site who have been in therapy for years. Does anyone think that this is unhealthy or the therapist stringing them along? Is there a healthy amount of time for a therapeutic relationship? How long should one be in therapy? You get the idea.

I think it depends on the individual and what the aims of the therapy are as to how long it should last. The aims are usually discussed and chosen in the first or second session. And they can change during the course of therapy depending on how it goes and external situations. The length decided at the start can be reviewed and changed along the way depending how the client is getting on. A psychotherapist I used to see, said at a review I had when an inpatient just over a decade ago, that I should be in some kind of psychotherapy for life. lol. However, I've managed without it for the most part since being discharged and probably won't seek it ever again. Being stuck in that system when it isn't necessary would just bring me down. The idea of me having it for life was thought up by a psychotherapist working at the Priory I was in. So maybe she wasn't as aware as she should be about the reality of just how costly that would be to implement long-term. Also she might not have been able to predict me recovering as well as I did, at the time.
Personally I find it impossible to answer how long a person should be in therapy because one person might need 3 months, while another - 5 years. Especially as the severity of what they're in therapy for is so different from person to person. Also, dredging things up as happens in therapy doesn't work for everyone. Some actually benefit from leaving the past in the past, with perhaps counseling focusing on the future instead or maybe no professional intervention is required at all.

Why do you think a therapist would string a client along?
Do you mean if it's paid for, i.e for the monetary gain?

I think if a patient feels the sessions should end they have every right to stop them.

I think a therapist could string along a client for money or for the goal of having power over that person.

It's just that I have a problem with the thought of people being in therapy for years and relying on that one person and wonder how healthy it is?

I understand some people will have complex problems but is years of therapy really a helpful/healthy way to deal with it or at some point does that person need to go it alone.

I don't really buy into psychotherapry per se I suppose I'm just cynical. I'm more for practical therapies such as cbt, dbt, cat.

Would think that if a therapist tried to string someone along in order to have power over them, they're in the wrong job. But I guess it might happen.

Relying on one person isn't healthy, but a person could attend therapy alongside relying on people in their personal life too like their partner / friends. I think it's especially unhealthy if the client substitutes the therapist for the sort of person that they need in their personal life that they perhaps don't have. Or don't make efforts to develop relationships away from the therapist because they don't feel they have to.

I'm not sure years of therapy is helpful either, sometimes it might just perpetuate the problem unnecessarily. Like, if you keep talking about something and giving it significance, it'll have that significance. I think therapy can be good to teach the client the tools they need to break away and use on their own. But I wouldn't totally rule out years of therapy being appropriate in some cases.

I did DBT for three years, repeating each module and can definitely say I took more away from that in terms of practical skills I can remember and still use, than I did from psychotherapy. I can't even really remember what I talked about in psychotherapy as I begun it when I was 14, apart from that from time to time it just wound me up, lol.

It definitely depends on the client and the therapist whether or not the therapy is successful. I mean, sometimes a therapist and a client don't connect and nothing is accomplished, so the therapist wants the client to keep coming because he or she isn't seeing any progress. But really the client would be more likely to achieve progress if he saw a different therapist or just didn't go to therapy at all.

Some people don't even need therapy and can get over their problems on their own. I think some people an definitely benefit from therapy, but some people can't be as honest with other people as they can with themselves.

But, sometimes people can't work things out themselves and they need a longtime therapist to help them with everything and it truly does help them.

But in every situation, the client should know what's best for him/herself, and if they feel like therapy is doing nothing, then they should leave. But if it's helpful, they should be able to decide for themselves that they want to keep doing it.

If a therapist is telling a client that they should stay and the client doesn't feel like it's helpful, it shouldn't matter what the therapist says. The client ultimately knows himself better than the therapist knows him.

I was in therapy for 6 months. And I am not on a 2 year therapeutic break while I get referred elsewhere.

While I don't think it was the 'right' time for that break, they *are* beneficial, and people should have them. Because it shows you that you *can* cope alone and makes you less dependent on therapists.

People need realisation to find themselves - not analysis. Analysis can often block realisation. People need that "aha!" moment and not going around in circles for years talking and thinking about the same things over and over. When the mind is clear and still, many of the things a person needs to know come into view of objective awareness. Then the soul is quickened and freedom is at hand

I don't know, I think it depends on the kind of therapy. I had two years if intensive psychotherapy (3x/week), a year in a residential TC (group analysis), three years of psychology sessions (1x/week or fortnight), and am currently in a year-long day TC (group analysis).

I feel I've really benefited from the therapy, though the progress has been slow. I've been told by psychiatrists that skills-based therapies probably wouldn't be helpful to me and that analytic therapies work for me. However, I really struggled right up until I stabilised on medication a year ago - that's when the positive effects of the therapy became really clear. I don't understand much about the psychological processes, I just know that I'm a different person now to the one I was before all this therapy.

I do wish I'd taken a therapeutic break after leaving the residential TC, though, because I think the work I did in psychology in some ways undid some of the previous work (not the psychologist's fault, she was great, it just didn't really work for me, possibly because of not taking meds alongside). I will certainly be taking a therapeutic break after leaving my current treatment.

My first therapist told me I may choose to/need to re-enter therapy at different points in my life, though she didn't say why. We'll see. If I do, it's no bad thing, in my opinion, it just is as it is. If it works for you, why not, I guess. Hopefully I won't need to though.

^[To Jack] At the same time, therapy can help that happen.

I know 100% that I probably wouldn't have even started to question the negative thoughts I have about myself if it hadn't been for my clinical psychologist. I made very little physical progress while with her, but by the end of it, I was able to say 'but what if you're not right' to the voices in my head. And THAT was such a huge step for me that I may never have made alone.

Good question!

I know when i was first in counselling it was a mixture of me not wanting to stop sh-ing but i didn't dare say that to my counsellor , me not really wanting to be in counselling and me and her not really getting along, I was the one who felt like i was wasting her time. I saw her for about 6 months but then when i look back i think i was leaning on her for support.

When i was with CAMHS i saw a CPN for just over a year, i got on really well with her and it did really help.

People have suggested sometimes ringing adult services up, but i know once i do get support i will lean on that person and that itsn't healthy , its nice to have someone to lean on but they wont be there all the time.

So.. i think it really depends on the person .

Sometimes. I don't think its often though. I don't even think most therapists know what they are doing. I think many if not most make things worse. We have had an EXPLOSION of therapists, social workers etc over the last 40 years and all problems have escalated exponentially. Psychology got bogged down in chemistry and treats people as souless - without a conscience - just a mess of chemicals and hormones. Modern psychology is actually a lot more barbaric than people realise. I mean its medieval stuff.

Plus a person has to want to be better. Many people want to feel better without being better. Its like the gambler who is sick of losing but isn't sorry for gambling. Therapists for people like that become a crutch. They can get a sense that they are working on things when they really aren't. That ends up serving as a block

^*glares*

I hope you're not insinuating that my future career is fruitless. *hits*

And all but 1 of the therapists I have met (both as a patient and a colleague) have been fantastic at their jobs.

Maybe you have just met crap ones.

Also, I agree with your second paragraph. If the patient doens't want to get better, they won't. Simples.

I thought you were going to be an actress?
I don't keep company with therapists, psychologists etc anymore. I know an awful lot of their clients though lol

I'd love to be an actress, but let's be realistic! I don't want to be famous, so that goes against me.

I promise to be a good psychologist though! I have empathy which is a start! Ha

I'm not sure. I've had therapy over about 10 years of my life, adding up to about 6 years of therapy (since I had breaks between them) and about 4 different psychologists/counsellors/psychiatrists. I feel that sometimes I really needed it and I made good healthy progress. Other times it allowed me to indulge in unhealthy behaviours because I knew I could "confess my sins" to my therapist in a safe place and he/she would help me make it better.

I'm at a point now where I'd love to sink back into the safety of the therapist's couch but for a range of reasons I can't and I kind of think it's safer for me to tough it out on my own.

Ah you could end up being too empathetic and catching what your clients get. You should know being a "mental health" person is dangerous since people can transfer a lot of their negative stuff to them. A lot of head pokers are not too well themselves and try to help others as a rounded way of helping themselves. Doctors -especially psychiatrists have one of highest suicide rates.

Am I depressing you lol. JK - I have high expectations you'll do well at something no matter if its honest work or not

"Why Shrinks Have Problems"
http://www.psychologytoday.com/artic...-have-problems

I've managed not to 'catch' so far!

And we shall just agree that you have a dislike of MH workers and I think you're wrong. because other wise you'll end up insulting me and others.

Actually I have no feelings toward them one way or another. They just muddle through as if they know things. Just like bankers, brokers and others who broke the economy despite advanced degrees. I go by the field as a whole. I would debate any of them - even from Oxbridge or Camford

So basically, you like no profession!

Agree with that. I've noticed a lot that therapists etc. contradict themselves from appt. to appt. Much of the time it seems that they're just making it up as they go along with no skill.