People With Borderline Personality Disorder, Advice Please??
 

I know that it's super common to feel abandoned easily, and suffocated other times when in a relationship, but I just feel so selfish and horrible when I'm with my boyfriend because when we're laying on the couch together in his room, I almost want him to just go do something other than be all over me, but then when he chooses to sit at his computer while I'm over, I feel so mad at him for just leaving me by myself. It's so horrible and confusing to deal with because I do love him, but I don't know how to explain it to him.. I want to just beg him to be patient with me, but I feel even more selfish for asking him to stay when I'll be so flip-floppy... I just feel like ****... Is there anyway to either get over these feelings or explain it to him? I would do anything to not lose him... :crying:

Living with conflicting feelings about needs and boundaries can be confusing and distressing, I know. Finding that balance between a sense of yourself as an individual, and having intimacy with another in a healthy way is a whole long journey of self awareness and recovery. As you figure out more a sense of yourself, things can ease. I think everyone, even those without a personality disorder diagnosis, can sometimes grapple with this, especially if feeling insecure. That judgement on yourself as selfish can be a real toughie too, I know.
Are you in therapy? Working through those issues with a good therapist can really help.

i think what your talking about isn't about the bpd...he should be more thoughtful.. i suggest you talk to him about it, i have bpd and i know what you mean- but this isn't about it... i had a bf a few years ago who was the same and i thought it was just me having a bpd moment... but trust me...it's not.. if you want it to work you must speak to him about it- suffering in silence won't help you and if you don't speak to him about it and you get annoyed...he won't know why...and we all know what us women are like =p we expect the poor bloke to know why we're angry =p lol

talk to him xxx

I know what you mean. I don't have any advice for you at the moment, I just wanted you to know you aren't alone. <3

Thanks everyone(: That helps, and I only meant that he like goes to the computer because I complain about him being all clingy, not that he chooses to. I didn't realize how that looked.