Mom cut finger.... Really need support
 

I'm so stupid and selfish.... I chose to spend the night at my grandparents house visiting my aunt and uncle from pa.... I should have stayed home, my dad left for Florida today and I could't even stay home with my mom... My neighbor called my grandmas house and let my uncle know my mom cut her finger really bad.... She's on her way to the hospital by ambulance. By AMBULANCE... I should have been there. I dont know how bad it is but know it needs stitches.... Once I heard I started sobbing which made my 12 year old cousin start crying too and the 8 year to start repeating she was scared to... If I couldn't have been there for my mom I should have atleast held it together for my cousins. I feel so guilty right now.. My uncle drove me to the hospital and is being amazing and making me laugh but I just feel so guilty...

How is your mom now?
how are you now?

my mom is doing ok today...I'm ok right now, my uncle was really amazing at calming me down... I'm going to be doing what ever I can to make this up to her. I still feel guilty even though in the back of my mind I kow it's not my fault but that's a very small part...

How are things now?
It is definitely NOT your fault that your mom cut her finger and all the rest, but i do understand being worried, esp with an ambulance being needed.
Hoping you are doing alright.
xxx

Things are ok... she keeps hitting her finger because she won't rest but I know it's because she's not one to sit around all day even if she needs to... I have the best community and they are checking up on my mom and our neighbors informed us that we are having dinner at their house tomorrow (Same neighbor that told be if I need to get away from school to call and they come no questions asked) I'm feeling less guilty but am worried that I'm going to start cutting again... I miss it more and more..... I haven't told anyone yet but I have an appointment with my psychiatrist on the 30th so I'll talk to her then....