Because I cant tell you
 

I hold everything inside. Nobody knows. Nobody. One day your walls will break and I will look into your eyes and see whats real. This is a big mess. We have both made life changing decisions that brought us together and will keep us apart. Will it be forever? Am I allowed to feel this way? I cant stop how I feel. The emotions just keep on coming and I hold onto them so tightly and quietly so that they wont escape and shatter our worlds. But I don't know if I can do that forever.

I just wanted to say that you are allowed to feel however you feel. They are your feelings, and noone has controll over them, or can tell you what is right or wrong.

I wonder what it is that makes you hold on to your emotions. As holding everything inside can make it much harder to process and deal with safely, and can be more likely to cause sudden over-flows of emotions, usually in their more extreme form. I hope you are able to find some safe ways of releasing those emotions and feelings, and allow yourself to do so.

Roiben x

This is so complicated :crying:

I wish I could offer you words of wisdom... but all I can manage right now is to let you know that you are not alone. Hang in there. keep fighting. I'm fighting with you.
Hugs

Would breaking it down into smaller parts help? You do not need to say, or deal with, everything at once.

Roiben x

I'm thinking...wondering if it's selfish to break the silence. I don't want to hurt anyone or make anything awkward. I'm talking in riddles now! Sorry :( It all becomes so much more real if I put it into words or say it out loud.

How would it be selfish, and, even if it is, is that a bad thing? Selfishness is a survival trait, and I think in this instance, you are more than welcome to utilise it. Especially if it will help.

The trait is only a bad thing when used all the time, regardless of why and with no care for others. If anything, you seem to have a little too much regard for others and not enough for yourself.

Can you try. Even if just a little to start of with. Begin to look after yourself as well.

Roiben x

Thankyou Roiben, I have just found your words. I broke the silence and I now have more decisions to make, Life is scary. Love is worse!!!

Life can be very scary and yes, love as well. They both mean opening ourselves up to the possibility of being hurt - But in doing so, we also open up to the good in life.

How are you feeling today?

Roiben x