I need help.. I really do..
 

I'm sorry if this is triggering for others but I'm not sure how to label this.
I'm terrified right now.
Scared to go to school.

Why I'm scared:

• Made fun of DAILY
• Shoved into lockers (not when they r open thank god)
• get my stuff stolen (no lie they take my journal from me, my story journal which keeps me friggen sane there)
• people taunt me for my short in stature. (grab my stuff raise it over my head and say "Jump emo slut. jump")

They torture me there. I don't want to go there anymore. Its my senior year, and the idiots are making it living hell. People will freely push me into lockers,and steal my stuff. So far this year they took my iPod from me, and my passbook/planner. I got the iPod back by pretty much almost murdering the guy who took it. A teacher had to pull me off the guy I tackled to the ground because I was gonna kill him. NO ONE touches my music without paying the price. Same thing goes for my story journal. They took it 4 days ago (last thursday b4 a 3 day weekend). It hasn't turned up yet. They get away with telling me to kill myself too and I can't stand it. I mean my one teacher tries to help me, and reminds me that I can only get truly affected by what bothers me *gave me a quote I can't remember atm* All they do though is make me want to hurt myself. I seriously already have. My forensics teacher he won't let me touch the burners since I did burn myself on them once on purpose this year. My best friend took my blade from me. Since then I've bitten my wrist, I have 3-4 bruises from it, I also have scratched my wrists and arms just below the elbow. I'm even more afraid now because my family is christian (i'm not to much) and the most recent pattern, which happens to be weird, it came out this morning in the shape of a "connect-the-dots" cross. It scares the shit outta me. Excuse my language. All I know is right now, I just want to hurt myself and I'm scared.

do your parents know how bad the situation is? honestly, if i were you i would be trying to switch schools....

don't think that this is your fault, or that its your fault for letting it get to you. whats going on is totally wrong and if you weren't upset and angry i think that would be an even bigger problem.

Wow that is absolutely awful I'm so sorry <3 people are just so unbelievably hurtful sometimes. It really makes you hate the world.

Is there any way to they to switch schools? Because I would seriously suggest you try to do that because it is not right for you to have to deal with crap like that all the time. You need a new start, I think that would help. You shouldn't have to wake up every morning scared to go to school, because you so don't deserve that.

It really isn't your fault that it affects you. Anyone will be affected by that. And you have a right to be affected by it because those people cannot be saying things like that to you and treating you like that. Geez, that's just awful :/ <3

Aw, hon, I'm sorry you've been hurting yourself so much :/ <3 but I'm glad you have a best friend who cares enough about you to want you to be safe.

Please PM me if you want to talk, I'll always try to answer as soon as possible. <3 stay safe, dear. <3

I tried switching schools, but I can't go anywhere else due to the district issues. If I switch I lose the year and have to repeat my senior year. Thanks for your replies..

First off all, you should be proud for sticking up for yourself with the idiot that stole your ipod. I wish I had stood up for myself like that when I was being bullied. It would have saved me a lot of self esteem issues in the future. A lot of people will say that fighting back is wrong but, in my opinion, pacifism has its limits.

If you don't mind me asking, how much longer do you have to graduate? I'm wondering if you can stick with the people who care about you in school (bullies rarely ever target groups because they are too afraid) and hold out until you graduate.