I'd hoped I was past it...wishful thinking I guess
 

Just thinking about going back to school this week has me suffering from the flashbacks again...I still have nightmares of it occasionally, but the flashbacks during the days and all had pretty much stopped the past month or so. Part of me is ready for school to start again but another part of me is scared stupid. My new apartment wont be right across the street from where it happened but I'll still see the place every day with classes. Just thinking of seeing it agai, and when I saw it last week when I visited a friend there...it's hard remembering. I've done better the past few months but I know it's partially because I just buried my head in the sand and stopped thinking about it. When I was away from school for the summer, I didn't have to think about it. I didn't have to remember. I was really hoping I was past it. That I was just moving on and it wouldnt be a big part of my life anymore, yet the past couple of days it seems it's all on my mind again. I've had a lot of flashbacks the past week...remembering the first time,... the exam at the hospital...then all over again the second time..I don't know which was worse really...
I don't really know what to do now that I'm going back. I can't hide from it anymore because it'll be there every day in my face, laughing at me...
Sorry. I know this was kinda pointless to post but had to get it out somewhere...

I'm sorry you're having flashbacks again.
Don't really know of anyway to help, but *hugs*

Thanks Em.
How have you been doing? You haven't really been on much recently to talk to.

Mine get better and worse too, I just wanted to say. and I hate that but it sounds like you know why... And they'll get better again, you know?

And I wish you weren't going through this. Yeah, that's all I got.

offers <cuddles>

Thanks. Yeah, part of me know that, but with them happening more often right now, it's got me messed up kinda...
thanks