Runaway
 

Im done with all this. I've lost all faith in humanity. I can't cope with everything that's happening. Work, exams, sj, family and friends. Everyone expects something, demands more. I have no more to give. I want to run. Pim thinks it's a good idea. I want to escape, escape everything. There is just too much.
People know things now. I should have just kept it all to myself. I can't be this person. I want to escape. I want to walk into the mist.

unfortunately running away from yourself is impossibe, any way you can just take a few days to yourself, to reduce the pressure.
any idea why you feeling like this?
sorry you feel so bad.
*hugs*
stay strong,
jen x

p.s loving the ideal gas equation :)

Hiya, I don't know your exact sitaution but it sounds like you're under an enormous amount of pressure. You say that you don't want to be 'this person' but please NEVER apologise for being you. Nobody should have to hide away in the mist. You deserve to out in the open and enjoying life...and you WILL be able to again. Do you know what has triggered this intense desire to escape? Also, keeping things to yourself may work as a coping strategy in the short term but after a while it catches up with you and creates even more pressure. What are you up to now? Are you somewhere safe and relatively calm? *HUGE mist-free HUGS*

Hey, I'm sorry I didn't see this and I didn't get your message. My phone died and I forgot.

Please don't listen to Pim. He's supposed to look after you right? Running away won't make anything better.
What happened? What do people know?
How did your shift go?

Things sound really overwhelming for you right now but running away is not the answer. Perhaps as someone else suggested a few days break would help or is there even something you could put to one side right now so you don't have so much going on. Keep fighting, you will get through this

I have to work because my mums on sick atm and i am the only paying for food etc.
I get yelled at and disiplined for pulling out of duties for sj.
Everyone expects too much of me, I can't please them. I can't.

Hey, don't worry about SJA. It sucks and all the people there like Matt and Chris are stupid.

Do you think your dad could help out while your mum gets better? Does she not get sick pay for her job?

And you can do this. Ring me if you need to talk; I'm back in London on Thursday or Friday.

What's the point? I want to run and hide. There is no point in staying here.

Yes there is. You need to look after yourself.
London this weekend, right?
Me and Sulley will be there.

Only sunday and monday. Cancelled Saturday cos I just can't cope or afford it.

*hugs* You can stay with me at A's though. It's gonna be okay. *huggles*

No magic words at the moment...but please stick it out. I know it can be insanely hard BUT try to forget about other people's expectations. The most important thing right now is to take care of yourself. Try to have some fun and give yourself a bit of a break xx

Not heard much from you recently. Let me know how it's going.

Had an appointment yesterday with the therapy people. They were assessing me. She hasn't decided what she thinks would be better so she wants to see me again. Shes nice but says mhm alot. It rained yesterday and I got very wet.
Talai I haven't told anyone that im not going on Saturday just cancelled on the website. They are going to be angry arent they?

I'm sure it will be fine. *hugs*

*bumpity* I get worried when I don't hear from you...

Had one of my crazy moments, only it went on for ages. My mum got worried. I couldn't stop crying for hours after.

*hugs* Feeling better?

mum is keeping me close. havent gone to work for nearly a week. we just cleared out some old clothes and stuff. my blood pressure has dropped dramatically twice.

I went to mass yesterday, to see if i could feel any better. I ended up breaking down and going outside so i didnt disturb anyone. I sat on the steps outside as i couldnt really walk straight. After the mass a priest cam up to me and asked me if i was ok and if there was anything he could do - how exactly do you tell a priest that you want to end your life? or cause alot of harm on yourself?