Could I have Aspbergers? I'm confused...
 

Hey, I've just been confused about something for a bit...

My older sister, who has some experience with autism and psychology stuff, mentioned to me that she thinks I may have Asperger's. She says it would explain my introverted nature, my inability to pick up on many social cues, my outward lack of emotional expression (I think I'm smiling when I actually appear serious), my lack of trusting people or making friends easily, and my inability to easily talk about hard personal issues, like my mother's recent passing. She said it might even explain my persistant depression.
So I looked it up, and while some of the symptoms fit, every time I take a self-test, I end up in the middle of the "normal" range.

My opinion is that all those come from situational sources. I don't trust people, and am a bit paranoid sometimes because of being bullied in childhood and betrayed in my teens...I don't like to talk to people because I am self-conscious about a small speech problem and hate my voice...And I don't think I communicate well, because I come from parents who didn't react well to negative news, so I knew early on not to say things so I wouldn't worry anybody. I am very emotional, but I just don't talk about it well.
The rest of it (depression, introversion, lack of expression) seems to be natural into my personality. I am sure the depression (and s-i) is at the root of my problems, or do I really seem like I have Asperger's and I'm just trying to convince myself otherwise?

Still, she seems convinced, and I just wanted to see if I could get some insight from some people who have experience in this, it might be really helpful...Thanks for reading all this, I really appreciate it.

No one here can diagnose you because we are not professionals and don't know you personally, however it does sound as though whether you are on the autistic spectrum or not you are having some level of difficulties, and I think it would be worth approaching a professional such as your local doctor to discuss these issues and maybe find a way to help them. I think you need to focus not on labels such as Aspergers or not, but more whether the things you describe are having a negative impact on your life/interactions etc and whether you feel they need to be addressed.

Yeah this.

...and your sister was probably saying all that to annoy you, like sisters tend to do.

You cannot self test for autism. You cannot be objective when taking the test. You need to see a doctor in order to discuss this with him and see if you need to be formally tested. When testing for something like autism, your whole childhood history is also taken into account and they will talk to family members in order to build up a picture of you. It's not a quick thing.

As you said yourself, the things you are exeperiencing could be as a result of lack of confidence and depression. I'd still suggest seeing a doctor as you can get help for these things.

Your own description of your personality and how it developed makes sense - so no I don't think you are "in denial" and actually have Asperger's.

I'm not an expert, but I'm sure Asperger's is not the only explanation for the set of difficulties you have. Maybe your sister finds it easier in some way to have a neat label?

To me it sounds like the root of the problem is having trouble trusting people enough to express yourself freely.

That, also do you think having a label would make your problems any easier/make you happier?

A label is just a label; at the end of the day you will still be the same you, dealing with the same problems... If I were you, I'd look for help for the depression/SI stuff and see how that goes...

And if you're still worried about being autistic or not, discuss that with the psychologist or whoever you'll be seeing about it then :) Who knows, they might point out to you why they don't think you are, or agree and refer you further.

On a sidenote: I do have Aspergers, and those online tests tend to rate me between 39-42, which is indeed quite high :p

Thanks for all the replies, guys. A lot of what you said really made sense, and I'll do my best to follow up on that advice next time I see a therapist (though I'm not sure when that is).
And no, my sister wasn't just trying to annoy me; she genuinely cares and wants to help and is just concerned about my communication skills. The reason I posted this was because it was the second time in several years that she had brought it up, so I thought I'd at least do some reading up on it...

as far as i'm aware once you are diagnosed with autism thats kinda it they dont really follow you up with any kind of treatment, at least thats my experience when i was misdiagnosed with it a few years ago. so its a bit pointless imo.

Just a thought, but do you think that taking those online tests already knowing you have aspergers causes you to score highly? Like a bias/demand characterstic? Just a thought, been looking at this sort of thing briefly in psychology. Not suggesting that you are lying or anything.

I think the important thing here is whether you find the issues you have described disrupt your day to day life. If so, and they are a concern to you then do please go and speak to a professional, a GP or Dr who can view your issues from an objective viewpoint along with family history and other criteria.

Your sister is kind to have pin pointed areas she recognizes, but they can also be other things - and this is why I would be wary of taking that as a diagnosis. Maybe instead, take it as something to speak to a professional about.

I will say, that it is really not in your best interest to use online diagnosis forms or questionnaires. They are notoriously bad in terms of accuracy and can become counter productive as a result. To give you an example, I am diagnosed with a form of depresision and have used these forms - and found some that would say I have quite severe depression and others claim I am just having a 'blue day' and would feel better after some chocolate and chat(!) - if you bear in mind when doing that last test I was actively suicidal, you will see why I do not like them.

To sum up: If what you are experiencing is concerning you, please go speak to a professional about it and do not pay heed to online tests or criteria listings as they do not take the whole picture into account and can be horribly misleading.

Roiben x