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-   -   Found this joke.... (https://www.recoveryourlife.com/forum/showthread.php?t=166332)

tifflehan 07-06-2011 09:07 AM

Found this joke....
 
A psychologist was walking along a Hawaiian beach when he kicked a bottle poking up through the sand. Opening it, he was astonished to see a cloud of smoke and a genie smiling at him.
"For your kindness," the genie said, "I will grant you one wish!" The psychologist paused, laughed, and replied, "I have always wanted a road from Hawaii to California."

The genie grimaced, thought for a few minutes and said, "Listen, I'm sorry, but I can't do that! Think of all the pilings needed to hold up the highway and how long they'd have to be to reach the bottom of the ocean. Think of all the pavement. That's too much to ask."
"OK," the psychologist said, not wanting to be unreasonable. "I'm a psychologist. Make me understand my patients. What makes them laugh and cry, why are they temperamental, why are they so difficult to get along with, what do they really want? Basically, teach me to understand what makes them tick!"
The genie paused, and then sighed, "Did you want two lanes or four?"

tifflehan 07-06-2011 09:10 AM

A woman accompanied her husband to the doctor’s office. After his checkup, the doctor called the wife into his office alone. He said, “Your husband is suffering from a very severe stress disorder. If you don’t do the following, your husband will surely die.” The doctor continued, “Each morning, fix him a healthy breakfast. Be pleasant at all times. For lunch make him a nutritious meal. For dinner prepare an especially nice meal for him. Don’t burden him with chores. Don’t discuss your problems with him, it will only make his stress worse. No nagging. And most importantly, make love with your husband several times a week. If you can do this for the next 10 months to a year, I think your husband will regain his health completely.” On the way home, the husband asked his wife. “What did the doctor say?” To which his wife responded, “He said you’re going to die.”

CaiteeBug 07-06-2011 07:55 PM

:rollfloor:

Buttons. 07-06-2011 08:04 PM

Ha ha brilliant.

Louise 07-06-2011 08:05 PM

ha ha, that is funny

xbeckyx 08-06-2011 05:04 PM

Haha I like them

tifflehan 10-06-2011 04:53 PM

Think the second one is best!

Laura2.0 10-06-2011 05:27 PM

hahaha

insidemyhead 10-06-2011 05:50 PM

ahaha awesome

mikey 10-06-2011 05:51 PM

Make me chuckle!

Maddy5 11-06-2011 02:57 AM

I must say that made me laugh :-D

crazykat 11-06-2011 03:07 AM

Haha love them

emoskylady 11-06-2011 03:43 PM

loveeee the second one! lol

Ettie 12-06-2011 10:50 AM

love them them both!!!!
:) he he

Kitkat :) 15-06-2011 04:30 PM

Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

Accidentally Abstract 17-06-2011 12:50 PM

*likes* :D


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