what's going on?
 

hi,

my self harm decreased for a little while recently. My thoughts were becoming more severe again and compulsions stronger. I burnt myself a few times but noticed that the venlafaxine that I had been put on for depression was making me not as hungry so I severely restricted calorie intake. I am on the edge between being overweight severely and obese anyway so it felt like a safer method and i just slept most of the time. I did then start to worry that I was enjoying this control too much so saw my gp who reduced my dose. Now though I've eaten more normally today and I feel horrible I really want to self harm and take the dose I was on before tomorrow.

I know I have issues with food already and an eating disorder is in no way cool, but I really just need to be thinner. It disgusts me to look at my body and imagine the fat inside, and I'm really scared of losing control completely of my calorie intake and becoming obese again.

I really hope I've not triggered or offended anyone I just really need to vent and get others possibly more objective opinion. I feel so disgusting and so ashamed.

Hey,

If you're trying to lose extra weight, restricting severely won't help. Fasting or restricting for brief periods can sometimes give a sense of physical well being, and cause you to drop some weight, but your system won't support it for long. Not only that, but any weight you lose from fasting/restricting will come back when you start eating normally.

You can safely reduce caloric intake and lose weight gradually on a diet/exercise plan, but that's best done with a doctor's support, and weight loss on those sorts of plans tend to be gentle. As a rule of thumb, a diet should not promise more than a few pounds' loss per week. Diets that say "lose ten pounds in two weeks!" are bull, and will only make your system yo-yo more.

Being overweight is difficult; it's hard to handle the social pressure, it's hard to stick to a diet that doesn't ever seem to have significant results, it's hard to carry the extra around. I believe I can see the temptation there. But don't fall into the pit. This is a very important dilemma, and I think you should bring it up with your doctor--therapist, too, if you see one.

Keep talking.