Fed up of this stupid crappy existence
 

I woke up this morning (which is depressing enough in itself) and I was crying, and for a few - just 1 or 2 - seconds, I had no recolection of my life and my mess, and I felt peaceful and calm for those few seconds, until it all came flooding back.
I want to feel like that all the time, and I can't, not living my life, it's anything but peaceful and calm and I cant escape because I can't win, because I want to escape from me and I cant!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I dont even feel alive anymore. I am in the sense Im breathing, im eating (sometimes), Im sleeping (occasionally), I talk and have conversations, but I feel like Im not alive, Im in a haze.
My thoughts are becoming more and confusing - Im struggling to work out which thoughts are real at times, which are coming from me and which are coming from the real 'me'. I can't describe what I mean, it's stupid and doesnt make sense.
I just want out. I dont think I can do this for much longer.

I'm sorry you're having a rough time.
What's going on in your life that's making it so bad?
Do you think you could tell anyone?

Life, thoughts and everything in general can be a mish mash of confusion, if you can pin point what triggered it then you might be able to lessen the confused feelings.
I hope things improve for you soon :) & feel free to PM me if you'd like to talk.
xxx

I'm sorry that you feel bad. But you have to remember that as bad as life seems sometimes it will get better. Don't end it, please.. You don't know how much you'll miss. My dad, he commited suicide when I was nine, I miss him every single day. And he missedm he missed his two beautiful daughters walking up the isle alone. So think of the future, remember that the future is full of beautiful memories. :)