i did it again....i suck
 

i'm sorry...but i cut myself again...i hate myself for it....i shouldnt have done it...but now i want to do it more....i'm stupid....whats worse is that i stole the razor from walmart and i feel like a horrible horrible person...and i cant return the razor cause i just broke a piece off and threw the rest away...i'm a horrible person

*hugs* Try not to do any more; it's not going to help anything. Why did you do it? How are you doing now?

You are not a horrible person because at the end of the day everyone makes mistakes. That being said....I was wondering what about what you did made you consider yourself a 'horrible person'? Why did you decide to steal the razor? If that is what is bothering you then you can always pay for the blades but I genuinely dont believe that the theft is what is upsetting you.

I just got done w/ my period and I always get depressed when I'm on my period. And the theft really does bother me. But I'm afraid if I come clean about it they'll have me arrested

Ah.
I wouldn't worry to much about it; it was a small thing from a company that can afford to lose it. (I'm not condoning it or anything, just, don't worry to much now, it's happened and you can't take it back).

Why did you steal it in the first place? Are you under age?
How are you doing now?

i stole it cause i knew my mom wouldnt buy it for me and i dont have money...and i'm still cutting...its like i cant stop...last night i told myself I'd only cut myself one time...i cut myself over 10 times...

Do you think now may be the time to look into any professional support that may be available - so that you can work through how you are feeling about yourself, and your reasons for harming?

It sounds like it is beginning to take a hold on you - and is not providing the same release as it once did - or that, any release is incredibly short lived and followed by regret.

Ultimately, you can go back to the store and explain that you forgot to pay for the item and offer to pay them, especially if doing so would help how you feel.

Be gentle with yourself.

Roiben x

the thing about the stolen razor is that i just took one out of the box...i didnt take the whole thing...just one...so i dont know how to explain that...and i cant tell my mom that cause she'd hurt me....(not really, she's not abusive...just a figure of speech)

Could you tell your Mum that you are hurting and need some support?

i see a therapist tomorrow...so hopefully i can hold out until then

Good luck tommorow.

Good luck for tomorrow, I hope the therapist can help and that you are able to be honest with them.

Let us know how it goes?

Roiben x

i'm told my parents now they're fucking talking about putting me in fucking residential...FUCK THAT!!!! I HATE MY LIFE

Oh dear. Have you explained that you don't want to go?
Do you not thing it would help you?

And well done for telling them.

I tried explaining it to them but noooo they won't hear my side they don't understand the living hellness of that place. The food is bad the staff doesn't care and the showers are cold. Oh an the bed I'm pretty are made of rocks.

they're not putting me in f***ing residential but they're putting me in a f***ing hospital...PISSED OFF

Oh dear. Still, it might help?
It doesn't sound like you have a choice either way, so you might as well go along with it and make the most of it.

my dad decided to not put me in the hospital :D

It sounds like you started to take hold - and do not provide the same release it once - or, any version is very short and regret later....

well...i'm most likely going to a hospital (mental hospital) tomorrow, i'm staying home from school and my therapist is gonna do another risk assessment on me to see if I'm still "high risk"