I Want To Die...
 

I'm sorry. I'm sorry for posting. I know that I really have no right to because I haven't helped anyone else here but I really don't know how to when I'm struggling a lot myself.

I'm in one of my suicidal moods again. I haven't been suicidal for a long time so this is kind of scary for me. I don't have any plans, but I have been getting ideas, which really frightens me and I don't know what to do about it. I've both emailed and texted my therapist but she hasn't replied. I can't talk to anyone else without being jumped, lectured, or threatened to be put in a hospital (or all three). I feel hopeless right now. I've just been sitting here, thinking about what a disappointment I must be for everyone (including my parents) to point out everything I do wrong. Why can't I just do shit right for once? Am I really that worthless? I don't know, I just...I've realized...I don't have a purpose on this earth. I'm not anyone special, I have no talent in anything, I can't even do so much as get the grades I want in school, and I do try. I surely have no future, so what is the point of staying here if I'll only be a waste of space and oxygen? Why not let other, more important people have it instead of pathetic little me?

you have evry wright to pst hun its ok sometimes we cant always help others and thats okay

ok so you cant throught to your worker have you tried
-distracting yourself watch films draw go for a walk get friend to keep you company
helplines maybe?
maybe you could go to your gp and tell him or her how u feel or write it down and say how u feel worse latley


and im sure your parents arent disappointed in you hun
and you do have talents you may have just not found them yet their will be somethink that you are good at you will find your talent one day if not now

you ae not a waste of space or oxygen so many people love and care about you if you werent here it would destroy them .......and your not pathetic you are worth so much more you deserve to be happy and free

sorry things arent so great at the momment please keep strong
xxxxxxps;you never know hospitial maybe the safiest place for you wright now if you feel extremly unsafe or sucidal

*massive hugs* im just a pm away

It's good that you reached out to your therapist. I'm sorry she hasn't gotten back to you, yet.
I know when you feel like this it's hard to see a future or understand why you're here or why keep trying, but that's the sickness talking. You're too wrapped up in it right now to see that you can have a future and you're worth something.

Sorry I don't have many words, hope that made some sense.

You have every right to post, don't worry! I know how you feel with the suicidal mood, I've been like that before and actually fairly recently. It is kind of scary, the thoughts and ideas just won't go away and for me it starts to feel like I don't know which me I am, because there's a part of me which doesn't want this but a huge part which does.

I know what you mean too by feeling you don't have a purpose on this earth, but trust me, you do. We don't even know you but we care about you and would be very upset if you were to die, and the others in your life undoubtedly would. That's good that you contacted your therapist, I hope she replies soon.

Please hang on because things can get better, you can talk to me anytime. Has your therapist replied yet? How are you feeling now?

Cassie xxx