Difficult weekend ahead!
 

I know this sounds stupid but i'm really dreading this weekend and I feel like i'm going to lose control of how i feel.

It's my mums hen do and so about 9 of us are going out in my home town, me and my mum have a frosty relationship and i know that i'll be expected to mak sure everything goes to plan and to be buying her drinks all night (which i really can't afford). Also the idea of being out with lots of people around makes me feel a bit sick. I've tried explaining how i feel to my mum but she always just shrugs off how i feel and barely acknowledges me unless it's to benefit her!

I just want to curl up in a ball and let the world fade away until all this wedding thing is out of the way (doesn't help that she is marrying her sisters ex-husband, so my uncle which is difficult enough to deal with without her not being able to understand my concerns)

I just feel.....i dunno...

Sorry that you are stuck in such a tight situation, wish I could offer some help or insight for you

Thanks for the reply.

I just want give up, I'm fed up of feeling this way and not being able to deal with things better. No wonder she doesn't like me, i'm such a f**king failure that i can't blame her.

Wish i could help you get through the weekend , but will be thinking of you ,take care and no you are not a failure

*hugs* You are just having a difficult time right now. That does not make you a failure. You are stronger than you think.

Thank you both.
Thanks for the hug Caitlyn, i don't feel strong at moment :( I've let myself down AGAIN by cutting to try and feel better and as usual it only helped for a small period of time. *sigh* hopefully tomorrow will go ok and then at least that is out of the way.

Hope your both doing ok today x

You're not a failure - it sounds like a situation that would be stressful for anyone.
I hope you manage to get through it xx

to avoid buying your mom drinks all night perhaps you could speak to her friends and suggest you all put money into a kitty for her drinks to be paid from. that means everyone puts in the same amount and the pressure is off you. can you invite another friend along that you would feel more comfortable having there and be able to spend time with to avoid feeling the stressed out feeling of everyone else being around you.

im sorry your mom wont take much time to listen to you. try writing a letter and letting her read it. tell her how you feel and what you want to change.