RYL Forums - Unfinished Story..

I’m in the office wondering what I did wrong. There is no way anyone could know about the cuts. I haven’t told anyone. I haven’t done anything to get in trouble, have I? “Carrie Smith, you can come in.” I hear the principal but I don’t move until he says it again. I walk into the principals office. “Have a seat right over there” I see two chairs and I sit in the one farthest from Mr. Anderson, the principal. It gets silent for about two minutes. Mr. Anderson breaks the silence by asking how I’m doing today. I just say fine. He asks how life at home is going. I say that its good. Then before letting him have another chance to speak I say “so, why am I down here?” He says he was just about to ask if I knew why. I said “I have no idea why, that’s why I asked” He gives me a disapproving look and asks me “Carrie, have you ever self-harmed?” I don’t say anything for a minute and then reply “Why would you think that?” then, he stares at me for a couple seconds and says “in gym yesterday the gym teacher noticed that you always wore long sleeves, then when you ran by her she saw some odd cuts on your wrists” I so badly wanted to just run out of the office and never stop running until im far away from here. Instead, I just sit there. I don’t know what to say now. Then, the next thing I know I’m at a hospital. When I’m more awake I ask what happened. Then the doctor says “Mr. Anderson was talking to you in his office and you fainted and he got the nurse and you didn’t wake up and they called 911.” Then I remember this morning. I remember that right before school I cut myself. The doctor that was just talking to me says to me “Carrie, you seem to have lost a lot of blood. What happened?” I realize that now, the only choice I have is to tell them the truth. I say to him “I cut myself. Please don’t tell my mom. She will send me away” he looks at me then just walks out of the room. A couple minutes later a nurse that I’ve never seen says to me “Hun, the only choice we have is to tell your mom. I know that you don’t want us too, but if we didn’t you could end up getting an infection or cutting a vein, and die. I know you don’t want to be sent away but it’s the safest choice.” I start to cry, and don’t stop. I cried for 15 minutes then passed out. Again. When I wake up its dark outside. I look at the clock next to the bed I’m in and see that its 3 in the morning. I sit up and see a note next to my bed. *When you are awake press the red button and we’ll send someone in* So I press the red button and within 3 minutes there is the same nurse that was with me earlier. She asks how I’m feeling and if I need anything. I say I’m fine and I don’t need anything. I ask her if she told my mom yet. She said that she called her but she didn’t answer. She called my dad too, and he didn’t answer. I realize that my mom doesn’t know about the cutting then. I ask the nurse if I did counseling and stopped cutting soon, if we could not tell my mom. She says it’s a possibility but she can’t make any promises.
When I wake up in the morning I see my nurse standing outside my room talking to someone. I cant see who the other person is. After about 10 minutes they both walk into the room and the other person is someone that I’ve never met. She says “hello, my name is Dr. Dane. You can call me Sarah. She explains to me that my wish to do counseling and promise to stop cutting if we didn’t tell my mom has been granted, and that she is my counselor. I am so happy. She says that this was going to be our first session. We are going to tell my mom that I fell at school and got a severe head injury and no outside people can come see me which means she can’t come see me. I have to be in the hospital for 5 weeks. I have to have a session every other day. On the days I don’t have sessions I have to go talk to other teenagers about depression, self-harm, cutting, and stuff like that.