is struggling
 

Hi, I need some advice. i have been self harming for 5yrs now, and have been trying to stop for a long time. i managed to get it down to every few months but recently i had a panic attack and its all been bought back.
im in my final year at uni, and the stress is impossible at times, i dont have time to get preoccupied with this again. Its not just self harm, its the anxiety that happens when i try not to.
this is the conundrum, when i self harm i can function normally and go to lectures, write my dissertation etc. but when i dnt and try to stop i can never feel at rest, i cant sit still to work, i have anxiety issues being around people and skip lectures, and start shaking which can lead to panic attacks.
it just feels like a constant loop, if i self harm its easy to pretend things are ok, i can get on with work and uni, but when i stop im a mess.
so i need to find a way of not self harming and yet still function normally. im scared im going to ruin my degree, its my last term and the most importnat one, i need to get the grades for my masters place and dont have time to take the day off or have my concentration go. its like everything is hanging in the balance and im on the tip of falling off. i want to just keep self harming just to get through term and then deal with it, but if i leave it im scared of what i may do
thanks for reading if u did manage to get through this, i just dont know what to do anymore.

thats definately a hard spot to be in.... maybe rather than trying to stop harming all at once, you can try controling other aspects of it, working on not as often and not as badly, or waiting longer before you give in. so its not cold turkey, but you're gradually working yourself off of needing it.