My Daughter's words....
 

Hi all!

The good thing about RYL is I can access wherever I may be.

Monday Jan 4th: My daughter at night going to the toilet tells me: How she saw her Dad doing a wee but it wasn't as gross as seeing the woman suck the wee out of the man!!

What the? Anyway she told me that her Dad was logging onto the computer for her to watch "Toy story 3" Instead something else came up and he said he couldn't stop it and they would have to watch it through! She described it all!! She is only six!!! In the past other stuff has happened and all he's had to do is sign documentation saying he won't do it again ( that includes sleeping in the nude with her!)

What the? Then I asked too many questions. She clammed up and started changing her story!

Been to the police. No luck there but they had their hands tied. You see he is a hypnotherapist and counsellor who also works as a family therapist. He is very good at what he does!! I don't mean that in a good way today!!!

The long and the short of it is that I have to get her away now!!! That will mean I lose my job, my home, possibly even my right to teach later if the law turns on me!!!

It's been one hell of a week. We will be gone in two days and I will start legal proceedings but the future is scary!!

Sadly one of my friends has flipped out so much about this I have also lost my entire friendship network. He's all focused on how dare I break the law etc.! I can't trust anyone anymore!

Except for my mum - God bless her. And the family I recently discovered where Chelsea and I will be staying (God Bless them to!)

There's a lot more to this but in the spirit of keeping it brief and the fact that I am cooking dinner at present I will sign off. I will however keep you all informed and would appreciate support and encouragement!
Love to you all!

Getting your daughter away from him is the right step. It's a mother's job to protect her child, and what's going on sounds just plain wrong.

My Daughter's words....
 

Thanks so much. I need to hear as much of that as possible. The law has not protected her in the past. His behaviour is getting progressively worse. It's all so surreal at the moment. Haven't slept much this week and I think I'm still in shock. How quickly our lives can completely change!

Good on you for protecting your daughter. I left an abusive husband with my 2 kids 8 months ago and had to go into refuge etc. Its hard but worth it. You are strong and can do it. My advice would be to get as much legal and other support around you as you can as you will need it. Your daughter is lucky to have a mum who believes in her! Best of luck xx

good luck hun, i hope it goes ok! i know we're online but you have lots of friends and support on here :) *hugs* xx

Oh my goodness, YOU are taking the right step protecting daughter- no six year old should ever have to witness that. Good luck even with the law not being on your side. Im so glad that you have your mum she sounds like she'll be really supportive for you and your daughter.

Thanks for the kindness!
 

It's very uplifting to receive this support!!! Will be seeking stacks of legal support!! In the past he has just had to sign an agreement that he will not do it again!! I really need and do believe that things will go differently this time. Thanks and really appreciate the affirmation of the direction we are going!!!! LOL!

You are doing the right thing, I wish you all the best. Here if you ever need someone to talk to.

You are doing the right thing. x

You're doing the right thing. My ex has some in common with yours. Luckily after I moved I broke all ties with him, told my mum and so she wouldn't give my new address to him or his family and in the end had him sign away all parental rights once I got back into contact years later.
Do you have a copy of the papers he signed saying he won't do it again? If not, can you get them? The stack of 'he's done this before' may help in the legal portion of this.
*hugs* my inbox is always open.

youre doing the EXACT right thing! how DARE anyone say you arent?

it angers me. im sorry.

i know it will be hard but dont give up. you are protecting your daughter just as a mother should!

much love to you
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

You are doing the right thing. If you ever need to chat please pm me xx

You are DEFINITELY doing the right thing. Your daughter is blessed to have a mom like you! :)

Update.
 

Wow it's been a full on time!! I feel utterly spent!!! The first week was an absolute tangle of a maze. The Department Of Human Services closed the case because they are content that I am doing everything I can to protect her!

Ironically if I wasn't contravening these orders and breaking the law DHS would have removed my awesome little girl from me as well on the grounds that I wasn't doing enough to protect her!!!

The dear little girl has no idea of what is really going on. She has made one more disclosure to someone else but it is very vague about she knows what her daddy said and did but is not to tell anyone about it. He's really done a number on her.

Can't really get my head around any of this at the moment but I don't really have time to. It's taken this long to find a lawyer who will take on the case.

I've been living on the phone but The Dear Little One has been out and about living and loving life with family.

Thanks for the support and for being here - all of you!!

I'm glad DHS have closed the case. I wish you all the best with your lawyer and case. Take care

Im so glad you have found a lawyer to take on your case.
I hope all goes well. Take care hun xx

Well done on making such a brave move, you are doing the right thing.
Have you contacted a lawyer at all? I do really think that this would be a good move. Also, perhaps get in touch with some agencies who deal with child assault. They maybe have information about things such as social workers or counselors who can work with her, not only to get the evidence needed against him but also to help her deal with things. They have a lot of good techniques making it less intrusive for the child, such as reenactment through play, or talking through a toy, so its not her telling and such.

Wow that has to be so horrible for you. You are doing the right thing, she'll look back and be glad her mother protected her. I do think you should try to get her into a counselor, so she can process this now before she internalizes it. You're obviously a very caring mother and you are definitely in the right.

Nats, whatever the consequences, you are completly doing the right thing for your daughter, and yourself. The home, the job, the friends you can sort out once you've sorted the most important thing in your life first :)

Good luck and let us know how things are going. x

i was gonna say the same about a counsellor who could maybe get the words out of her, and it may make her feel better. i know a lot of survivors say that once the secret is out it's a huge weight lifted. and also it would be some support for her hopefully you'll get somewhere with your enquiries.

love to you both x