And it's all came crashing down. *contains SI*
 

I need help! That's five years of being self-harm free down the drain. I just really feel the need for it right now. It's hard to explain but for the past month SI is all that's been on my mind. A few times I came really close but pulled away at the last second but tonight was different, I really wanted it. Thank god I have my doctor to see tomorrow.

I am sorry you self harmed after so long. How did it go with your Doctor? Has he offered you any extra support at the moment? Feel free to talk about what is going on for you if you think it would help. Congratulations on making 5 years free though, hopefully this will just be a slip up for you. Don't be too hard on yourself. I think sometimes self harm is an addiction, one where the thought will always be there in times of stress ( a very wise member of here helped me realise this recently). Just because you slipped up does not mean you have to be totally 'off the wagon'.