too tired to try
 

i hate everything around me, i hate my house i hate my face i hate being alive.



my mom canceled my sessions with my psyc.


im trying to stay alive and i fear iim failing.

i wanna die.

There's so much pain and anger inside of you. Things feel so helpless.

What's going on with your mum that she cut off your support?

i know how your feeling girl but be strong i know you can do it i have faith in you *hugs* how come your mum cut off your support?

she said that im still cutting so obviously its not helping.... :'(
she doesnt understand that its the only reson im not dead yet. :((((

I think it might help to have a meeting with you, your mum and your psych. How do you feel about something like that?
How was your therapy helping you?

alot. but my mom doesnt wanna pay for anything if there isnt IMEDIATE results.

Hmm. That way of thinking. My mum used to be like that with me when I started using some natural remedies a looooong time ago now, when I was much your age, so I understand to some degree.

Can you explain here [kind of like practicing] how it was helping you?

before i went to my psyc i used to try to not selfharm during the day but when i woke up i would find that i had carved things into my arms as i slept... it used to terrify me...

but when i got help those would lessen drematicly... but sense my mom canceled my psyc time...they started again. :'(

Have you told her that? I understand it's a frightening thing perhaps to explain to someone close to you..

we arent close.

i tried she said, "then wake up before u try to cut ur arm off"

It doesn't sound like she's capable right now of seeing things deeply, and sensitively like you are. Her thinking style is very concrete, as it were. Not sure if that makes sense!

it makes perfect sense, thats how she has always been.