silly me :/
 

Hey
So I was supposed to be following my meal plan this week to gain weight but I didn't *sigh*
I panicked this morning as I had an appointment to check my progress and manipulated my weight to gain (wont detail) and now I feel terrible for being dishonest and hindering myself, but I was terrified they would admit me if I didnt gain :'(
I don't know what to do, I'm so all over the place...sorry if this post is unhelpful guys I just don't know where to turn, I feel so alone in dealing with this.

At least time is something that there is always more of. You always have another opportunity. I can't even imagine myself trying to gain weight, at this point at least...so it must be incredibly difficult for you to even think of following a meal plan and focus on getting better. Kudos to you for your efforts. I know it's a complete inner struggle, and that others can rarely make a dent on your outlook, but I hope that you can find your strength to do what you feel is right.

hi love.
i have been in a similar situation before and its so hard.before i was admitted,i was constantly told 'you have to gain... or you will be admitted' so i understand your struggle.
you are not alone and its understandable you feel all over the place.
like 'k' said,its a struggle but you need to try to be honest with yourself.
i hope things get a little easier soon.
take care

Hi
I really understand how you're feeling right now.Its hard let go of your ED and to think about gaining weight and getting better.But you should remember there is always tomorrow.Perhaps you didn't succeed this week but i'm sure you will succeed !
stay strong