want to cut so badly
 

I haven't cut in almost 3 months ( on September 1st will be 3 months).... I'm visiting my grandparents right now. One has alzhimers and the other Dementia.. I didn't realize how bad they were until I got here. It has me really triggered right now. I don't know what to do.... I don't have anything to cut with so I guess that's a good thing but what'll happen when I get home? I don't know if my new coping methods will help... That's how depressed I'm feeling right now. Plus I'm in a lot of pain (I fractured my foot is July) My parents have been really good to me and making sure I'm resting my foot and talking to me and making small jokes about my grandparents (they are funny jokes and do make me laugh) I' just afraid somethings going to happen to them sooner then later.......




Sorry this is so long... i guess I could just use support right now

Well I'm happy to give some support I'm Chris and at least the foot is something you can focus your energy on if you know what I mean its sorta like an SI if you think about it that way. Perhaps pretend that thats what it is. What are some of your cooping skills? I'll share anything and everything I have that may help its all up to you if you want it.

Sincerely,
Chris just a person who cares!

i feel sorry for you

Thanks Chris.... Some of my coping skills are snapping a rubber band on my wrist, writing poetry and starting to talk....I never thought about think about my foot as an si... I think that may help.....Thanks... It's like an si without the guilt... Thank you

I am sorry that you are dealing with so much so hugs there. Be gentle and take care of yourself. Three months is an amazing milestone. You can make it beyond this. If the usual distraction methods do not work try some new ones. I am sure these have been suggested to death but they have worked for me, cleaning something that is intensive, if you have a camera find things to take pictures of are the two main ones that i use and have found to be effective. Also positive self talk even though this may be hard things like i can make it through this. I have made it this far.

Thank you.... Today was my parents 25th anniversary so we went on a dinner cruise.... I found that helped relax me and get things of my mind a bit.... Since I enjoy photography I think I will try taking more pics....thanks for the suggestion.

one of my physical therapist that I became friends with passed today... I don't know how much more I can't handle.... It's getting way to much to handle :(

The best thing you can do is to not worry about the things you can't change. Find some way to distract yourself from it. My mother had a stroke 5 weeks ago and the first 2 weeks she was in a coma, and we weren't sure she would make it. The only way I could deal with it was to keep my mind off of it as much as I could.

Whenever I wasn't visiting her at the hospital, I tried to keep it off my mind because there was nothing I could do about it and thinking about it just hurt.

Whenever I feel triggered, I remember the progress I've made to give me motivation. The feelings you have right now WILL pass, so you shouldn't give up after 3 whole months. If you hold out, it will be worth it, it really will.